Thursday, August 28, 2003

How fortune can change in a day...

I received two calls for interviews on resumes I sent out yesterday. One was a message I returned and am awaiting a call back. The second was a 30 minute phone interview with a VP of Marketing who wants to meet with me on Friday.

Then, I actually received a call from an assistant to a lawyer who is willing to discuss the lawsuit with me. She told me that if I retained the lawyer, I would not need to appear at the first appearance court date in Sept. I will still have to spend more money on defending this specious claim than I would just paying the money, but paying would mean a bad debt judgment against me and most likely opening myself up to more threats and intimidation by this man.

He lies about a contract. I have to pay. Nothing in this world is fair.

Yet, yesterday was such a long and stressful and shadow-filled day for me. And today, I felt as if God was reminding me that He cares and that hope is there for the asking.

No, I'm not saying that I will get the job or that the lawyer will solve my problem economically, but where there were no possibilities of resolution to my joblessness and the lawsuit, I now have possibilities.

And I might get a second writing student...that would be nice!


Wednesday, August 27, 2003

Wow, a new blog interface...I've been away a while...

Today has been the strangest day...or rather yesterday was considering it is in the middle of the night.

I began the day playing Scrabble with a dear friend at the Internet Scrabble Club website. Given that we live in two different states and are avid game players, this web site has become a great blessing to our friendship. We can play games together and chat while we do so. It is almost as good as having her here for a visit.

So the day started well, though I did lose miserably, but it sort of went downhill from there.

I responded to an e-mail and asked what I'm sure to be considered what was a largely inappropriate question. I've learned of late that at times I have no clue what appropriate is. For example, I made a friend uncomfortable when I asked if she had any leftover turkey and gravy at Christmas. I was craving turkey and the place where I celebrated Christmas served roast. Somehow I didn't know that asking for leftovers was not quite appropriate. In any case, I asked a question I've been wanting to know for a long time. It was of a professor, now friend and brother in Christ, who invested quite a bit in me during graduate school. Between my two grad degrees, there were three professors who went far and above the call of duty to teach, nurture, and sustain me. And I wonder if they are disappointed that I am not teaching, not working in a field utilizing the fruits of their labors. I truly hate the thought of disappointing them.

So, I cried a bit during the e-mail, even knowing I might not even get an answer for the nature of my question.

Then I started working on revisions to my chronological detail of events concerning the basement bathroom and a/c installation from last August to this one. I am doing so because the sub-contractor, if you could call him that, whom the plumber brought in to do the a/c has been harassing me and threatening me for money for the a/c which I gave to the plumber and the plumber failed to pay the sub-contractor. Should I mention that they are brothers? From Afghanistan? And the sub-contractor is quite menacing?

We have a court date, the sub-contractor and I, for trespassing, a course of action the police advised. On the day he was served with notice of the court date, he turned around and swore out a warrant for debt to sue me in civil court. All on the basis of an affidavit that we had a contract.

There was no contract. I did not even know who he was until a week after the a/c installation was begun. I did not even have a contract with the plumber. [I know...stupid move on my part.] At one point, the plumber gave me a back-dated proposal, but I did not sign it because of several inaccuracies.

The plumber was a snake and I ended up having to redo much of the half of the job he did. Several people advised me to sue him for the $2,600.00 of plumbing money (that is not including the $1,800.00 for the a/c and $400.00 for a new hot water heater) he had from me. But I thought that $2,600.00 would be a very painful, but profitable lesson for me to learn regarding crooked contractors. If I could walk away from the plumbing nightmare and take control of the situation myself, then suing him would not be in my best interests. Too much stress in an already stressful situation.

Then four months go by and his brother shows up at my house and starts threatening me.

Don't worry, everyone said. You did not have a contract with him. You paid the plumber. He can't bother you.

Really? He can't? After working on the accounting of events that I have been working on in the past week since I was served notice of the lawsuit, I finally talked with a lawyer (NOONE I know knows any lawyers in this area), I learned that it will cost me more money to defend myself against this specious claim that it would just paying the guy his inflated price for the a/c. But I should spend the money in defense because I should avoid at all costs a bad debt judgment against me.

Again, there was no contract. I paid for the a/c. And I'm the one who has to pay again.

Meanwhile, I lost my job nearly three months ago.

So I wasn't feeling too great this evening and ended up sobbing on the phone to my sister, part of my tears stemming from the fact that my family hasn't really called much since I was fired to give support in my unemployed state. And the same goes true for now facing another crisis in this blasted lawsuit. And I didn't even feel bad in my tears when my sister is part of the family I was complaining about.

All I want is for someone to wrap his/her arms around me and hug hard, all the while telling me that everything is going to be alright. Silly of me, eh? I know the words will not have validity, but they certainly would sound good to me just about now.

I hung up the phone and logged on to read my e-mail, where I found a message from a stranger who had visited this web-site. I was surprised given how much I've neglected it lately (more on that later), but my pleasure that someone enjoyed my sight faded upon reading his final words...that I should visit other sites to learn what people would like to see on mine.

What would be the point? This place is all about having voice when I oft feel silenced in my own world. Sure, I'd like to know people are reading, but I am I writing to please them? I think not.

So, here I am, at 3:51 in the morning typing. Since being fired, I have done a prodigious amount of work in my yard, have finished nearly every project on this house, read/re-read dozens of books, and hours of help at a friend's house. And I've taken to staying up later and later in an effort to avoid the thoughts that plague any attempts to sleep when I lay down at night.

Thoughts about how much I miss teaching even though the mother/daughter bookclub has been running for two and a half years now, and I've had at least one writing student for three years...thoughts about why I was fired when my boss kept someone who had been there only six months, someone who knew far less that I did about the business and I believe is far less multi-talented (a crucial factor in a small office) and when not four weeks before he had annouced that everything was fine with the company and he would not be making any changes, that we were all valuable....thoughts about why I long for support from my family during this time when getting multiple sclerosis, then asthma, then arthritis over a period of five years didn't stir much support...thoughts about how at 36 and being a bit weak in health I'm most likely never going to have a family of my own...thoughts about how lousy I am at being a witness for Christ during these days of struggle...thoughts about the dreams of mine that seem to fade so easily...thoughts...

...and no real sleep until 4:00 or 5:00...and since I'm un-employed...sleep until noon or one the next day....that way I avoid thinking about how I should be at work...

I'll finish for now with two additions to this lengthy note:

1. Two of my friends and I have begun memorizing scripture together. We've been doing passages each week, and I have enjoyed the challange and the fellowship of both scripture and of my friends doing this with me. Our passages so far are: Psalm 1, Isaiah 12, Hebrews 12:1-6, Job 42:1-6, Revelation 5:11-14, and (this week's) 1 Cor. 13: 1-8a.

2. If another person tells me that I'm so intelligent and talented I could do whatever I wanted, I will scream. If another person tells me that I lost my job because there is something better out there for me, I will scream. And if another person tells me that I have such an outstanding resume that I will surely be landing interviews, I WILL SCREAM!

Here's to a quiet day tomorrow...or rather later today...