More news...

The eye doctor I found at Walmart is just so lovely.  He wears a bow tie.  I think bow-tie-wearing men are inherently kind.

To back track, when I had my exam, he does several tests.  One of them did not go well, apparently, and he asked me to repeat it when I picked up my first set of glasses, though I did not know why.  At that first visit, he asked me to bring him a list of my doctors.  He TOTALLY should have had that by now and he TOTALLY should be on the list I maintain.  So, I said I would and then forgot.  After another reminder, I brought the list to him.

Last week, I got a message from my GP's nurse telling me that the testing was concerning and that I needed to see another specialist.  I replied saying that I was already seeing too many at the moment and my eyes would have to wait.  She wrote back saying that Dr. Walther believes this is a MUST DO.  Well, my response was a bit of an out-pouring of frustration, though politely written, saying that if it was a MUST DO then she needed to pick something to drop ... like the physical therapy.  I did not have a response to my upsettedness, but I didn't expect one.  Her nurse often just listens to me since her sister has dysautonomia and she understands my world.

Well, today, my eye doctor called me.  He was kind and patient with all my talking around his request, but he remained instant that I see a specialist.  IF his testing is accurate, he finally, reluctantly admitted, I have peripheral vision loss.  On me, that most like is MS related.  My heart sunk.  If I do and if that is the reason, then this is now two new MS symptoms in a few months.  It's been years without a flare.  I can NOT have an MS flare with everything else going on!!!!!

I was still hem hawing around agreeing to see who he wants me to see because 1) it is a different place than where my GP wants me to see and 2) MONEY.  But Dr. Embree is persistent!  He his kill shot to my resistance was saying that IF I have peripheral vision loss, there is a possibility I could end up with only a very small range of vision.  As in tunnel vision!

Okay, I'll go.  In 30 minutes, he had called and talked with the doctor at the clinic and had me scheduled for an appointment on the 20th.  I was impressed.  When I talk about him, I often receive back a sneer ... "oh, a Walmart doctor."  He is the BEST optometrist I have ever had.

As I have said, I've been medically melancholy since the whole discovery of my new normal means living with dysphagia.  Then the trigeminal neuralgia.  Then the pain flare.  Then the dry skin, mouth, throat, and eyes.  Then Sjogren's.  Then the concerning thyroid scan.  Then.  Then.  Then.  THIS!

I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE BAD MEDICAL NEWS.
GO AWAY.

So, I will just admit that I bought myself something else for my haven.  Nope, not a water fountain.  That I'd like to be homemade somehow.  But something for the garage wall that is one corner of my haven.  The spot where the water fountain will be.

[Ignore the cork packing squares.]

I found this on Craigslist and Firewood Man went and fetched it for me.  I LOVE it.  And it was really, really CHEAP for a stained glass window.  I am going to buy some glass and Firewood Man is going to make a wood holder for it (a frame).  We will screw it into the garage wall and then caulk around the frame for good measure.

The shameless part of me rationalized spending the $60 as yet another birthday present since my mother usually sends me a check.  Technically, I'm just floating her the money, right?  There are two small cracks, but WHO CARES?  I have a stained glass window for my haven that goes with my tulip bed!

It was a blessing to have Tim fetch this for me on the day I had more distressing news.

The other thing that came today was this.  When looking at more headache remedy (essential oil), I saw that there were diffuser necklaces.  They were $45 and yet I thought it might help me if I had a familiar scent wafting about me during my medical appointments.  I went looking on eBay, thinking I'd find one cheaper and voilá! there was this one for $1.49!  It is stainless steel, so can be sterilized for a hospital stay if need be.  I wanted one with a cross, but the two options were unappealing to me. I found one that looked like a Luther cross, but it was nearly $9.  I thought I should take the cheaper one, not knowing if it would work.

It does!
I've had gardenia wafting about me all evening.
BLISS.

I see my GP tomorrow.  She is a bloody fantastic doctor, but I just don't want to go. I don't want to hear anything else distressing.  But I do know that going is important and, maybe, it could be that today's news is all she has to address on the negative side.

I did learn the baclofen, the drug that could potentially help with the spasticity in my legs, has terrible side effects.  I still want to try it, but I want to talk about it with her directly, rather than what was relayed by her nurse.

And I do have those good words to use to talk about an asthma plan.
So maybe I do want to go.  Maybe.