I have been thinking a lot about the words of the Confession/Absolution liturgy in the old Lutheran Worship book (the one Pastor D uses for this part of the liturgy).

I had written both pastors whose sermons I posted here to thank them for teaching, pointing out the bits that moved me/troubled my waters and letting them know that I appreciated their ministry. Both wrote back, surprised and touched that I would have thanked them. Both took the opportunity to teach once more in a small, yet meaningful way.

So, I have been thinking on their words and the Word and the turmoil surrounding both my mind and my heart. Turmoil that rages with anger and with shame each time I look into the mirror and see the vivid bruising across my forehead, eye, and cheek, each time I absently brush a stray hair off my forehead and wince with pain at the merest touch, each time I see others stare at me and know what they are thinking. I am also greatly confused and conflicted by a response I had to sharing what happened when I was hit and advice I was given that seems so very contradictory to the Lutheran teaching I've received and in complete disregard to everything that I have shared about who I am, about my past. As I said...turmoil.

When I think about private Confession/Absolution, I am humbled and yet heartened. Each time I have spoken the words, even read them silently, I labor beneath the burden of my sin and wonder anew at the freedom Christ bought for us with His death.

The way I understand it, Christ gave to His first undershepherds, His disciples, the power to bind, to loosen, and to forgive in His name, intending this gift to be a part of the Office of undershepherd. Not that long ago, had you told me that I would have participated in this part of the liturgy not once, but three (or is it four) times now, I would have laughed at you...or at least smiled indulgently at your disillusion. I have always thought of this practice as the...well...perverted (or more politically correct misguided) practice that survives in the Catholic church today. A practice whereby the penitent is given tasks to do afterward to earn his forgiveness, so to speak.

But as with much of the doctrine I have been studying, this part of Lutheran liturgy resonates within me. Why would Christ send His undersheperds out with this gift if it were not meant to be given to His flock? Why include it in scripture at all?

To be able to speak aloud to another person the things with which you struggle, to be taught and comforted with Objective Grace, to be forgiven and reminded anew that you are washed clean, that God is at work in your life, and that you are free is a heady, marvelous, actually ineffable experience. This world will not understand it. We who have the Holy Spirit may marvel at the gift and wonder how we can be forgiven, knowing full well our sins, especially those that continually beset us, but we can believe and embrace it.

To be able to speak aloud the hidden things and yet know the one who is listening to you, listens with the heart of Christ, listens without judgment and listens without remembering once the sins have been forgiven, once the liturgy is done is priceless. To forgive is part of the oath the pastor takes in ordination, but so is the obligation to keep confident that which is said, to set aside those hidden things as if they were as far from the East is from the West. For those hidden things are forgiven. And it is the breadth and depth of the forgiveness of Christ which is offered in the liturgy, not some mere act of man. Only Christ can forgive.

Again, as Luther described so eloquently with Holy Baptism, the touch of the pastor's hand on your head as he speaks forgiveness is the temporal tangible the body can understand so that the soul might grasp the intangible eternal. Just as the body takes hold of the water, so does it the touch of the hand. Faith takes hold of the forgiveness.

And since we are all sheep, we are all of Christ's flock, this gift is for all. Congregation members go to their undershepherd. Pastors go to theirs.

So, tonight, I thought I would share the words with you. For I find comfort and contrition, admonition and encouragement in the liturgy, even while reading it to myself. Bathed in Scripture and the Truth of God, the liturgy has offered something different each time I have encountered the words and reflected upon the Word contained therein.


[Penitent]
Dear pastor, hear my confession.

[Pastor]
Let us begin in the name of God, to whom all hearts are open and from whom no secrets are hid.

[Together]
In the name of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Hear my prayer, O Lord; let my cry for help come to you.
Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress.
Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly (Psalm 102:1-2)

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight. (Psalm 51:1-4a)

[Penitent]
I have lived as if God did not matter and as if I mattered most.
My Lord’s name I have not honored as I should; my worship and prayers have faltered.
I have not let his love have its way with me, and so my love for others has failed.
There are those whom I have hurt, and those whom I failed to help.
My thoughts and desires have been soiled with sin.
What troubles me most is…

[Private confession]

[Afterward, the pastor offers admonition and comfort from the Living Word]

[Together]
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with your free Spirit. (Psalm 51:10-12)

[Penitent]
O Almighty God, merciful Father, I, a poor, miserable sinner, confess to you all my sins and iniquities with which I have ever offended you and justly deserved your punishment now and forever. But I am heartily sorry for them and sincerely repent of them, and I pray you of your boundless mercy and for the sake of the holy, innocent, bitter suffering and death of your beloved Son, Jesus Christ, to be gracious and merciful to me, a poor sinful being.

[Pastor, standing]
Do you believe that the word of Christ’s forgiveness I speak to you is from the Lord himself?

[Penitent]
Yes, I do.

[Pastor, placing his hand upon the penitent's head]
Receive the forgiveness Christ won for you by his Passion, death, and resurrection. By the command of our Lord Jesus Christ I, a called and ordained servant of the Word, forgive you your sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

[Together]
Sing to the Lord, you saints of his; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever. (Psalm 30:4-5, 12b)

[Pastor]
Go in the strength, the peace, and the joy of the Lord, and come soon to receive Christ’s body and blood and, being joined to him, live toward the work and the beauty he would fulfill in you for himself and for others. Go, you are free.