Misery loves company...

For me, this really is true.  When I am writhing on the bathroom floor from innards misery or collapsed on the kitchen floor from blood sugar, I long not to be alone with my whole being.  Even as I want absolutely no one to see me in such a state, I want someone to be there.  To be with me.  Misery really does love company.

I ate something that I think has upset the fragile balance in my digestive system again, almost as bad as when I got food poisoning.  Perhaps not.  Perhaps I am merely panicking.  Only, if I eat, then I launch myself on this terrible roller coaster ride of writhing, nausea, bloating, and then diarrhea.  At the wildest part of the ride, I truly long for death.  When it is over, I acquire enough perspective to cling to a sliver of hope I might find an innards balance again...eventually.


Only I am on the third ride at the moment.  I am a bear to be around.  I am a terrified child.  I am exhausted beyond measure.  Even Amos is a tad weary of being with me.  


I don't blame him.
He is also continually startled by the noises coming from my mid-section.
I don't blame him for that either.


When I longed for...prayed for...something to help me turn away from the memories and the struggles that remain from the pit bull attack.  This is not what I had in mind.  SIGH.


This is a small thing...but since Amos basically shares everything that I eat, I am truly thankful that whatever set me off has not done so to him.  Apparently, the only thing that has ever bothered his innards was the roll of toilet paper he consumed.  


Yep, that's me...a woman jealous of the constitution of her puppy dog.


I am Yours, Lord.  Save me!