Odds and ends...

All this organizing...make-shift and not...has had the effect of bringing together odds and ends.  Just when I think that I have those bits and pieces matched up, I find another stray.  For me, there is an odd sort of joy to putting my latest discovery in its proper place.  Of course, there is also the chagrin.  Should I mention how many pairs of scissors I still have?  SIGH.

The two drawers in the kitchen that are, for all intents and purposes, utility drawers are now rather impressively organized.  I put a small bin in the one beneath the microwave to hold the scissors, screwdrivers, and paint can opener that I keep in there.  Amazing what a difference a small holder can make.  I call this my tool drawer, since it also has the tack hammer I use to tap down the stray nails in the old wood floors and the three prong converter for the two prong plugs.  And it is where is I keep my toothpicks and matches.  I also put an old leatherette cardboard box in the top cabinet drawer where I keep a pad of paper, writing implements, a measuring tape, a flashlight, and my new (and beloved) utility knife.  I put the pens, pencils, highlighter, and sharpies in the box.  Again, a big difference!

For a while now, I had been collecting all the scissors in the tool drawer.  I decided to keep one pair there, one pair in the other drawer, and one pair in my bathroom.  The rest are now with the office supplies in the basement...however I ought to put at least six of them in my latest donation box.

Another change I made was in the drawer in the antique wall table that holds my antique typewriter in my room.  It is actually a card table, with a top that opens up and rotates to change it from a wall table.  In the drawer, for two decades now, has sat the linen paper I had for job searches and some parchment paper.  You know, back in the days when resumes were printed on fine linen paper and mailed in equally fine linen envelopes.  I do not know why it has sat in there for so long, other than perhaps it was a way to keep it safe. [I had also kept the wire mesh teddy bear tray with odds and ends that I donated last year.]

Being an ex-communications manager, I have a few other partial reams of special paper, though none nearly as fine as this stock.  All of those are in a box in the basement.  So, now, the linen stock is there, too.  One box of all the special stock paper I own, from glossy brochure paper to velum to the linen paper.  From a paper standpoint, my house is now completely organized.

I would use the linen paper for letters.  Only, I am not all that good at shouting at the wind in letters anymore.  Long ago, I was an avid, profuse letter writer.  I enjoy writing them and savor receiving them.  For me, the written word is far, far more effective in speaking the words of my heart.  Only I do not really know anyone, anymore, who savors the same.  Although I send letters, I rarely get responses.  So, now, I seldom send letters (though I am still an avid thank-you note writer). For that reason alone, I sort of feel like I should donate the good stock I have, the linen stock and all the decorated paper stock.  Only...I will find myself thinking that if I did find some letter writers, then I would want the paper.  Hence, the box.

One gathering of odds and ends that I am thankful for are the ID cards from schools I have attended and jobs that I have held.  I knew I had them in this drawer or that one, but going through everything again, for the zillionth time, now that I have places for such, I was able to put these few with those two and so on and so forth.  I am still missing a few that I thought I had, but although I cannot remember a single day from any of the IDs, I have them.

I did have another revelation...again filled with chagrin:  I have enough lip balm to last me even if I live until 100.  I have enough unopened lip balm for every person who attends the Monday evening services with me.  I have enough lip balm.  More than enough.  How did that happen?

Perhaps the best find of the day...or rather re-find...was the button to my flowered pajamas!  I have found it many a time over the years, only to lose it again.  Feeling as if I should not tempt fate another moment, I took the time to sew it on forthwith.  

Sometimes I wonder if I have crossed a line with all my organizing, reducing, and recycling, but deep down inside I think that this is not driven so much by the need to work through the upsettedness with which I struggle, as it is the reality of the cognitive function I am losing.  I need, truly need, for everything to have a place and for everything to be in its place.  I also need for others in my life to know where things are.  I am not sure when it will be that I can get my best friend to come, but when she does, my goal is a tour of drawers and such so that she will know where things are.  She finds me when I am lost whilst out driving.  The days are coming when I will need her help finding the things about my house as well.  That is why, for example, my blood sugar meter is in the basket on the kitchen counter, a place where Bettina and several others know.  That is also why the trust papers and power of attorney paperwork is in the deacon's bench...an easy place for those who know (which is now all my blog readers) to find in case of an emergency.

I suppose...the more I am fading away, the more I organize, the more I re-visit the drawers and closets and boxes and shelves and such to ensure that there is not still more room for improvement, more room for organizing and grouping things in a way that makes the most possible sense.

And the more I organize the more I re-evalutate just what are the things that I need, what I merely want, and what I can now do without so that others less fortunate might find them of better use than lying about my house.


I am Yours, Lord.  Save me!