Giving up or giving in...

Sometimes, it feels like I am giving up ... or giving in ... to take my migraine drugs.  I battle and battle and battle, telling myself it is merely a bad headache.  No matter that light hurts. No matter that sound hurts.  No matter that the nausea is rising (after all, when am I not nauseous these days).  Still, even when I know, I feel as if I only tried harder to be ... well ... something, I might not really have a migraine.  I might escape it.

I am not sure why. It is not merely that I cannot take the medications more than thrice a week.  But....

I am giving up, or giving in.
I have a migraine.
Again.


Lord, have mercy.  Christ, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.