Sunday, September 23, 2007

A while ago, my friend J commented on something I wrote here, saying that I shouldn't feel bad about writing about how I feel since this is my outlet for doing so. Taking her words to heart, I am doing so again.

Yesterday, I had to sit in a chair for an eight-hour training session. We had a half hour for lunch and two ten-minute breaks. For eight hours, I was sitting in a hard conference chair. Each time I got up, the pain in my hips and back was worse. By the end of the day, I was not even sure if I could bear walking to my car even though it would mean eventually getting home to the green chair.

The room was so small that I couldn't really stand up or walk around in the back. After all, I was in the back row and my head and upper body were resting against the wall.

By about hour three, I knew I was in trouble. The last three hours, I paid very little attention to what was said because of the overwhelming pain in my body.

I did get up three different times, ostensibly to go to the bathroom as a means of stretching and trying to ease the pain, but the other group members watched me hobble out of the room, so my attempts at surreptitious departures were actually quite a distraction to the training at hand.

I left before the training session was over because about thirty minutes prior to my departure, the air conditioner shut off. I sat there, writhing in pain, and growing warmer by the minute. When I started to grow disorientated and tremble from the heat, I forced myself to stand and to leave, even though the trainer was still speaking. I knew that if I did not leave, I would very shortly find myself slumped on the floor and did not want to faint around my colleagues.

In short, I was rather miserable yesterday and quite stiff and sore today.

On the way home, I had to pick up some Pepcid for Kashi because the vet wanted me to add it to his medicine regimen. For the first time, I was immensely grateful that my doctor had basically insisted that I get a handicapped placard.

The worst part about yesterday? I have to repeat the training next Saturday. I am not sure that I will be able to willingly drive myself to that location, knowing what is in store for me. I keep racking my brains trying to think of a way that might make the day easier for me, but, thus far, nothing has come to mind.

I will also add that my chest has been tight for a couple of weeks (I am waking up in the middle of the night with asthma attacks).

MS stinks.
Asthma stinks.
Arthritis stinks.

Having all three REALLY stinks...

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