Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Today in confession/absolution, there was no "offer of admonition and comfort from the Living Word" after my confession...just the stark reality of my sin and then pronouncement of forgiveness.  No blessing either.

Still fevered, congested, and very fatigued, but I have not been able to fall back asleep since Pastor left.  I know the important part of the liturgy is the absolution, but when you sit there and bare your heart and have no response, no comfort from the Word other than God loves you, it sure feels like a heap of condemnation. 

Especially when in one of the joint speaking parts of the liturgy, the words of Psalm 51: 10-12a, Pastor did not join me as he should have.  Why was he silent?  Does he think creating a clean heart in one such as I is near impossible because of what I confessed?  Does he not believe how mightily I struggle against my sin?  Does he think I dishonor God too much?

I am feeling very much like I should have kept my mouth shut.

Right now, I am trying to keep Psalm 103:12 in mind:

As far as the east is from the west,
    so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Lord I believe.  Help my unbelief!

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