Friday, April 09, 2010

God, in His infinite mercy, released me from such a burden tonight that I am still weeping in His gift.  I shall not be able to truly explain.  In short, 2 Timothy 1:7 is not for me.  Not for me. 

This is a letter written to a pastor about being a pastor. I can learn from it and profit from it, but that verse is not for me!

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but one of power and love and discipline.

Oh the weight of failing this!  Each time I would speak of struggle, of fear, of terror, this verse would be given to me as admonishment that I wasn't trusting Jesus enough, wasn't exercising my faith enough, wasn't having the "mark" of a Christian in my life.  Think of your witness, Myrtle!  You should be a better one.  Don't you want that?

It is not for me!

The pastor God brought for Bettina taught her and I this evening via video conference and this verse came up during the course of our conversation.   Oh, the sweet mercy of learning the context and the purpose and understanding it is not a measure of faith, not at all.

Oh, Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!

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