Something I have found in confessional Lutheranism absolutely missing from the Protestant churches in which I was raised spiritually is a reverence for God and true love of Jesus. That sounds harsh, I know, but it is the simple truth.
For reasons too great to speak, I have had to switch parishes, which has brought no end of grief for me, but doing so has also driven home this very point. Such is the power of the Holy Spirit, enabling me to do that which I would never do, because I hunger for what I have found in Divine Service. God coming to me. Jesus feeding me His own body and blood. The Holy Spirit working the gifts of Christ deep within. These I have spoken many times, especially how I savor, revel in actually, having the Living Word poured over me from beginning to end, a salve to my wounds, a balm to my soul. But all this is not the whole of what I have found.
The confessional Lutheran pastors I have met, in person and on line, all share one thing in common: passionate love of Christ and reverence for what they do. Deep, deep passion. Deep, deep reverence.
Oh, I am not talking about feelings, though certainly feelings are there. I am talking true passion. Beloved, so many pen for the pulpit. Beloved. We are loved in Christ. We are loved because God loves us.
You would have to be dense to not surmise I struggle with that one. Love me, yes, for Christ died for me. Has good things for me, yes, but in heaven. Life is pretty tough. Here. Now. Love is for later, when I am in heaven.
Yet as a Lutheran, I hear: God never stops loving His Son, therefore He never stops loving you for you have been hidden in Christ.
God never stops loving His Son. I know that! I believe that! Oh, how I do. I never connected the dots to me, though. Not to me.
But I have digressed.
Frankly, I despair that the new parish can be a home, which distresses me more than I can say, for I want the true body and blood of Christ. Near me, this church is sort of the only other option for the proper division of Law and Gospel in a liturgical church confessing the Symbols of Lutheranism. However, being there has driven home this point I am so clumsily trying to say. Passion is missing from the Protestant Church. For all the emotion, for all the seeker friendly stuff (crap), passion is missing. Passion and reverence.
The new parish is a bit more formal. Boy, do I not fit in there. I watch all these little things they do, bow here, fold hands there, and I feel even more the interloper than I ever have since first starting this journey. But not once have I thought that all those things I do not understand are anything less than good, right, and salutary for I can see rather clearly they are born of reverence.
For example, each time one of the pastors or lay assistants approach the altar, they bow. Even if crossing from one side or the other, they will stop in the middle and bow. So much of the service is actually spoken not to those in the pew but toward the altar. Deep, deep reverence. For God is with us. He is here to serve us, to give to us, to teach us. This is why the Divine Service is Divine, as I have written before. I did not understand the fullness of those words, however, before sitting in the new pew, watching, confused, yet soothed.
Now, I am not saying in the least that my old parish did not have the same reverence, for that is something I oft puzzled about Pastor, but I couldn't see it so clearly, understand what was happening until now.
We should be reverent. We are approaching God after all. We are in God's house, where the building does not matter so much as His presence. He is the Lord of the Universe, Creator of All. He is the One who endured agony unimaginable that we might live. He is the one who brings Life to us. We are beggars. We are dross. Before Him we are nothing apart from Christ. Nothing. Wretches deserving to be smitten from the ground upon which we stand. Yet we are clothed in Holiness because of His Son. We stand in the Light, rather than in darkness, because of the faith given to us by His Spirit. Clearly, reverence is called for here.
I had gotten used to children running here and there, chasing each other even across the altar, really a stage more than an altar. I had gotten used to a sanctuary being used for everything, an auditorium of sorts, party central. I had gotten used to a casualness born of the belief that these were just four walls and a roof about us.
Worship was about singing our hearts out, showing God we love Him. Oh, how incredibly backwards that is. Worship is about how much He loves us. As one pastor writes:
You are no [sinner], but a beloved and precious, delightful and well-pleasing member of the Bride of Christ. He has given Himself for you, and He has cleansed you by the washing of the water with His Word, so that you are dressed in Him and His beautiful righteousness. There is no fault or flaw or wrinkle or blemish in you, nor any such thing. There is only your Bridegroom, who has given you His Name, His honor, His glory, His life, and His own Body. That is what is true. Nothing else remains....
Let His Word and promises ring in your head, and take them upon your lips as a confession of faith in Him, who is your Savior. He will not forsake you, no matter how frail you yourself may be. Take courage in knowing that He Himself and His Holy Spirit pray and intercede for you, even with groanings too deep for words....
You are not simply tolerated by your dear Lord Jesus Christ, but you are beautiful and precious to Him. He knows all your wounds, all your sins and failures, all your doubts and fears and troubles, and yet, for the sake of His sweet love and mercy, He delights in you; He rejoices over you; He is gladdened in His great heart because of you, who are His own dear child. He sees no fault or flaw or blemish in you, nor any such thing, but only the radiant glory of one who is a member of His beloved bride. How deeply and richly He lovingly cares for you, and provides you with all good things in Himself. He does not take pleasure in your suffering, but He brings you through suffering in the strength of His own Cross and Passion for you....
It is Christ, who has made our wounds His own, who welcomes you to Himself, into His embrace, in the palms of His wounded hands. That is your sure and certain hope, in that He daily and richly forgives you all of your sins, inside and out, by that which He has suffered for you....
These are not mere rote words, but Words of love, of the passion of Christ for us, of God who created heaven and earth for us. That agony He endured was not merely agony of body. That agony was also unfathomably greater agony of spirit. Love held Christ to the cross. Love held Him there as God His Father turned His back so that Christ could take our sin upon us.
These are not merely words. These are Words of fierce love, of a Father running with reckless abandon to a son who has returned in shame, of a Shepherd who loves us so much to foolishly leave His 99 other sheep just to find the one who is lost, wounded, frightened, and when He finds her, he places her filthy body across His shoulders to carry her home, rejoicing in the finding, rejoicing the the labor it took to save her.
While I do not understand such, I see it, hear it, have it poured over me week by week in Divine Service. Such passion, such love, such reverence...all rightly pointing to our Lord and Savior.
When Pastor W posted the photos of his new crucifix on his blog, I thought he was strange, as I have written. He adored it. What?? When he posted more photos. And then a third entry... Seriously, I was taken aback. It's just a crucifix. Then, as I wrote, I was struck by the same strangeness and longed for something I would have thought I would have eschewed until the day I died. Now, I do not walk through my living room without gazing upon my crucifix. I will even admit that I have pulled it down off the wall and fallen asleep clutching it, a guard against the night terrors I often battle. I stop my work and find my eyes shifting toward it. I realize that I have missed part of my TV show because my eyes have fallen upon the crucifix again.
But I am not looking upon a crucifix. I am looking upon Christ crucified. To explain the difference, once again I borrow words::
I'm so pleased for you, that you have received such a crucifix from someone. Marvelous. I can hardly get enough of the crucifix, myself, and I dearly love to surround my family and congregation with that image of our Lord Christ in His Passion for us. You have mentioned that you do not know what love is, but, in the crucifix, Myrtle, you see it embodied for you and manifested to you. It is God becoming like you in every way, save without sin, and humbling Himself to become obedient unto death, even death upon the Cross; laying down His life willingly for His sheep, that He might raise them up in and with Himself, to live with Him in His Kingdom, by His free and full forgiveness of sins. It is His mercy toward you, because compassion fills His heart toward you, and a deep divine desire to give you life and all good things: to give you even Himself. Satan attacks and accuses, undermines and embitters, because you are right that he hates all this Gospel you are hearing and learning and receiving; Satan hates you, and he will do whatever he can, by whatever means he can derive, to destroy you and your faith in Christ. On your own, you cannot thwart or stop him. Your own old Adam too quickly and eagerly joins forces with him, and the world likewise conspires with them against you. But He who is in you, Christ, with His Word and Holy Spirit, is far, far greater than this old evil foe who so loathes you and berates you. Even when you are weak and faltering, hurting or angry, sorrowful to the point of despair, or not sure which way is up or which way to turn, Christ stands fast for you, ever your Champion against sin, death, the devil and hell; ever the forgiver of your sins and the healer of your ills; ever your defender and the giver of life to you. That is what love is. Not an elusive and fleeting emotion, but Christ, God in the flesh, your Savior.
Do you see the passion, the reverence? Do you hear the love? This is what is missing. This is what I crave. This is what humbles me. This is what awes me. Both that these men speak so unabashedly and passionately of love and that they love with such abandon themselves, standing before all as they do.
Pastor W on the Eucharist...
A little while. And to get you through, He gives you what’s already gotten through. He gives you His body and blood. He gives you the body and blood that knew the sorrow of the cross, the anguish of abandonment, the full weight of your sin and mine, the terrors of wrath. But even more the body and blood that came out ALIVE - never to die again. The Risen Body and Blood of Him who is the Forgiveness of sins and the Destruction of death. And as He feeds that precious food into you, He whispers: Hang on, child. It’s just a little while. And then I will see you and you will see me and your sorrows will be turned into joy.
O people loved by God, there is no one to whom we can compare the Holy One who loves us so and who has prepared for us such a rich salvation!
Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!
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