Did you know that it is possible to fall up a set of stairs instead of down? I did not. I do now.

I awoke trembling, shaky, and weak, even though the house is a chilly 65 degrees. I have never awoken this way before. I called Bettina to ask if she should wish to play Scrabble with me. That depends upon the children napping and the Phillies game.

So, I thought I might take care of the final load of laundry that has been in my basement since last Sunday, waiting for me to lug it upstairs and fold it. Upstairs are the other four loads piled on the end of my bed (I have been sleeping with them) and the entire (formerly folded) contents of my closet and dresser are still on the floor. Surely it is time to address such clothing chaos. But when I went to walk up the stairs, I fell.

Discouraged, I thought I might post a bit of something from one of Pastor S' sermon, from Monday, April 26th, the Feast of St. Mark:

Your baptism does not rest upon your faith.
The Lord Jesus does not stand upon your love.
And the Kingdom does not depend upon your repentance.

But rather faith stands upon Christ. And faith springs forth out of the waters of baptism, And it is as the kingdom of God comes to you that you are called to repent, not only to sorrow over your sins and to turn away from them, but to find your shelter in this One who has come in the name of the Lord, to hide yourself in Him, who does not come to condemn but to save, who even in His rebuke and reproach is acting in love and mercy, who desires only your salvation, only good things for you: comfort and peace and rest.

The Lord Jesus has believed.
The Lord Jesus has been baptized.
And the Lord Jesus has been saved.

Do not ever look for your salvation in yourself. If you reduce the works that you must do only to faith, you have reduced your work to that which is most difficult, to that which is impossible.

You cannot choose to believe. You cannot will it. You cannot decide to do such a thing. Sin and death reign in your heart until God lays Christ upon it through the forgiveness of your sins. It is again a work of Christ that is credited as righteousness [rather than your own work].

Simple words, I know, but needful to me.  His sermons are mostly not typed on his blog, just recorded.  He actually writes them out by hand!  I cannot imagine writing that way, for my muse only comes once my fingers begin to dance upon the keyboard.  It is there I have the only rhythm in my life.

Simple words, but needful.

It is so very difficult to shed the works-righteousness deeply ingrained in my bones, filling all my protestations of my unworthiness, and therefore all the reasons why the good things of Christ cannot be for me.

I am unworthy, yes. I have that part correct.  But I also can never be worthy.  I can never complete the work of the Law.

This reminds me of another beautiful Word Pastor F gave me Friday night.  When he was speaking to me and reading the Scripture to me, the word "fulfill" leapt off the page at me.  When I thought of Christ fulfilling the Law, I sort of thought of equated it in my mind to His fulfilling prophecy, being born here, doing this there.  I did not ponder, did not see, that he was not fulfilling some prophecy but actually working the Law, working it on my behalf since the entire purpose of His birth was to come to complete the work of the Law perfectly so that I, so that you, so that we all might be saved.  Suddenly, Christ fulfilling the Law was not a thing that was done because it was prophesied, but a thing that He is doing still, this day, for me.

It is fulfilled.  Today, this day, His righteousness is credited to me, instead of my failure to keep the Law.  His just reward, eternal life, is pronounced over me, instead of the fruit of my labor, which is eternal death.

The Law still applies to me, as that curb, guide, and mirror.  The Law, as Pastor F so earnestly taught me, is good.  It is good to love, care, and protect your neighbor.  It is good to honor your father and mother.  It is good not to steal, kill, or lie.  And it is good to have no other gods, but to honor God in our fear and love and trust and by calling upon His name in praise, prayer, and thanksgiving and in our every trouble.

I know my work fails. I know it is impossible.  That is why I have clung so fiercely to the Gospel I have found in the Book of Concord even when it is most elusive to me...even when I doubt it is actually for one like me.

I love the symmetry of Pastor S's Gospel here:

Your baptism does not rest upon your faith.
The Lord Jesus does not stand upon your love.
And the Kingdom does not depend upon your repentance.

The Lord Jesus has believed.
The Lord Jesus has been baptized.
And the Lord Jesus has been saved.


Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!