When someone is grieving or facing a serious illness or a life crisis, often people remain silent or stay away because they think that there is nothing they can possibly say or do to help. The thing they are misunderstanding is that it is not up to them to fix the problem or heal the person. That's God's task, which He will or will not accomplish, to His glory, in His time, through His masks. All you really have to let the person know he or she is not alone.
Bettina is so wonderful at that. I mean, she does have that stinking brilliant mind. But mostly what she does is those wonderful small things to let me know she is thinking about me. Like her ringing my phone. No great words of wisdom or huge investment of time and energy. Just a little buzz.
"Manna" buzzes in a different way. She sends these micro emails. Little snippets of her day. Often just a few sentences. Shopping. Home Renovation. A walk. Dinner. Little updates and a few witty quips that warm the cockles of my heart.
Such mercy.
Bettina, however, did also apply that fine mind for me this week.
Tuesday night was the first night that I broke the boundary I had set on leaving work since I returned from vacation, trapped there until 7:30 PM when I walked out because a late night was not necessary, was not critical. Then, at 2:42 AM that night/Wednesday morning, I was awoken by a text from my boss.
I had tried to set the boundary of no texts. That earned me great ire and lots of passive aggressive behavior. The text, in part, was contradicting what the CEO wanted me to do the next day to which my boss had agreed when the three of us were together. I never went back to sleep. Being caught between my boss and the CEO, between my boss and the good of the organization is a strain. Right now, any additional strain is near unbearable, so weak and weary am I.
Well, Bettina called me to let me know she had an idea for me: I could block my boss' cell phone number from texting me. In telling me this, she said that it was not my problem that my boss couldn't accept the boundary, but unfortunately her inability to do so meant that it fell to me to find another way to keep that separation between work and personal life. In other words, I shouldn't have to block her number, but in blocking her number I could keep the boundary line drawn firmly.
That's what Bettina does for me so very often. She does not try to solve big problems, things so overwhelming just thinking about them is exhausting. She goes after teeny, tiny things. A way to remember just one thing. A way to keep my beloved asparagus fresher longer. A way to keep my boss from sending less-than-kind texts to my personal phone.
Christ's mercy through ringing and buzzing and teeny, tiny things...and, of course, two women who also regularly share the Living Word with me in voice and song and the love they pour over this struggling sheep.
Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!
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