How many today...

Another greeting you could use with me is: How many ice packs have you used at a time today, Myrtle?  Six is a bad number.  Two is acceptable.  None is great.

I have spent the day with my head resting on three, with a fourth on my forehead.  This makes my eyeballs cold, actually physically cold.  Such is a very weird feeling.  Sometimes I wonder if, perhaps, having cold viscus fluid is not the best idea.  But that inner cold helps a bit.

I have also had an evening of writhing, much noisy roiling with intense nausea and pain.  SIGH.

Amos believes the best way to comfort me when I am writhing (and whimpering) is to drape himself atop my mid-section.  That, incidentally, makes things exponentially worse.  We are working to a more consistent compromise: I lie on my side and he perches/balances atop my hip.  Sometimes, even when I am weeping in frustration and despair over the illness I am battling, I burst into laughter at his persistent care of me.

My Good Shepherd gave me a puppy with very strong opinions and unbelievable tenacity.  What a pair we are.

If the end result was something I do not believe should be filmed, I would have taken a video of Amos today.  Twice he worked very, very hard to face his fear and tend to his need.  Truly, it was a mighty battle between the power of biology and the power of fear.  Watching him, I was awed ... and a bit jealous of how he was able to face his fear long enough to take care of himself.

Self care is not something at which I excel.


Lord, have mercy.  Christ, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.