Sunday, August 17, 2014
Weary...
I am truly grateful the erythromycin, when taken on time and all doses per day, helps so significantly with the writhing, the agony, the swelling. But even on my best innards days, I have a spate of nausea. Those spates are lasting longer and increasing in violence. Sometimes, it is all I can do to imagine surviving the current minute.
I am weary of nausea, of the need for Zofran and ginger ale and saltines.
I am weary of the waves that take over and drive all sensibility from my mind.
I am weary of this body of mine.
I am truly grateful that Amos has finally learned not to be so hurt when I shove him off my midsection, learned to allow me to curl myself about his body instead of draping his atop my person, learned to tuck his head in the crook of my arm, upon my shoulder, beneath my chin.
I cannot fathom surviving the spates of nausea without my fluffy white puppy dog.
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5 comments:
Yesterday at church I was reading about Joni Eareckson Tada, and how she was transformed from bitterness and anger to thankfulness. She mentioned some verses, of which I forget the actual references, but I came away with this.
That instead of being thankful for the pain and suffering,
(because most pain and suffering are a result of sin and why would we be thankful for sin) maybe we are to find a joyful moment or be thankful for something in all circumstances and such.
Such as what you wrote here. All you can do in these moment of extreme nausea and such is to be thankful for the puppy dog that God obviously gave you. And even that he has learned what you need in at such times.
You are are in His hands, even if you don't feel them.
I think you'd say it's okay for me to be weary of the battle I face everyday with Ellie. I say it's okay for you to be weary of the battles you face everyday.
And if you never reach of a point of thankfulness like Joni was talking about, that is okay.
I don't see me ever being completely thankful for this battle I am in with ADHD and ODD. Oooh. That's it. I am not battling Ellie, but the disorder within her mind.
Yay for Amos!
Praying for yo7756u, friend.
Thanks for the encouragement, Becky. I do appreciate that you have your own battles that are wearying, too.
Thank you for your prayers, Mary.
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