I am not a designer...

I am not a designer.
I am not a designer.
I am not a designer.

Why, then, do I try to do design work?????  SIGH.

I do believe I designed a solid template for the newsletter I have been doing.  And both the brochure and cutsheet I did for the therapist were extremely well-recieved.  Tonight, I have been trying to re-design the header for the articles that go with the newsletter and the eBlast I am doing on a regular basis as communication tools.  The eBlast header is what I used on the first two articles.  But I want to try and tie together all three pieces with some element of branding.  Whilst the new header is far better, in my opinion, it is not a good coordinating effort.

Even though I should be attempting to sleep, I am now having thoughts about trying to re-design the eBlast header.  That way, if all three headers have photos in them, then I will at least something ... okay, I will have nothing.

This is the photo I chose for the newsletter.

This is the slice I used for the newsletter.  I had wanted to use different bits of the whole photo in different pieces.  However, because the articles are being used as part of an info packet, as well as in mailings, I am not sure I want to have flowers galore on all those different topics.

So, this is a slice from one of the five optional photos I chose and stuck in my working folder.  With the effects and placement and such, already the article header is better.  But they are different.  More different than I wanted.  You know, more than I wanted even though I am not a designer.

Thus, the still-working-at-it thoughts about how I could use a bit of the original photo on the eBlast to tie that electronic sort of newsletter to the print newsletter.  Part of the problem is that I have to incorporate the broker company logo, somehow, and I only have one file type of that image.  Plus, well, I am not a designer.  I don't know how to do layers and such or photo effects or anything that would let me work in the logo.  For example, if I had a white only version of the logo, I could slip it in a teal band (the company's main color) on the bottom of this with the contact info.

I can make this greyscale, but that's about the end of my image manipulation skills.  I don't know how to select the pieces of the logo and make them white and the center piece black.  Or however you would make the logo so that it could go on a color bar.  SIGH.

Maybe I can use a vertical slice and figure out something that way....

Other than staying up trying to figure out the impossible, today I:

• talked with Mary;
• talked with Bettina;
• consulted about a presentation for middle schoolers regarding abuse (the goal being not to burst the bubble of the private school with too much scary world talk) 
• fetched the primer;
• learned that a free sub is not free because all manner of tasty items will be displayed for you to purchase;
• vacuumed for two hours since Bettina suggested that as a way to warm up (I'm avoiding using the heat);
• changed the bedding;
• did the laundry;
• bathed Amos;
• afeared myself reading more of the commentary on the Gospel of Matthew; and
• completed a 220 piece mailing with three info sheets to collate and fold, labeling, and envelop sealing.

I also savored this entry from my favorite dysautonomia blog:


Today I cried.

Ugly cried.

I lay on the tiles in the bathroom and I cried. I ate a bowl of silken, baked custard and let the tears roll down my cheeks. Then I cried some more.

Tears.

I let them fall.

One after the other.

Until they were done.

Until I was done.

There wasn't a single cause. Nothing that was particularly worse or different. It was everything and nothing. All rolled into one.

Because sometimes life is too much.

Because sometimes my body is too much.

Because there is no weakness in tears, or the admission of their existence.

Tears.

A pressure valve released.

And now.

I can collect myself and keep going. And I know,

I'll be okay.

Michelle


Today would have been my father's birthday.
Or is it still his birthday?