Failure...

[Written Sunday]

This is has been a terribly difficult day.  I've had five Pudendal Neuralgia flares!  This is the first time that I have had more than one in a day.  I believe all of them are from stool pressing on the nerve.

Yesterday, I started the day terribly ill, shaking, sweating, vomiting, and fainting.  At first, I thought it was because of the duloxetine.  It oft punishes me if I am late with taking it.  And I was late.  But, after a while, I realized it was a vasovagal response.  My enemy was stool, also, in that case.  Just a different nerve.

In both cases, all I can do is wait until the illness or the pain passes.

[Another flare started and I just couldn't write anymore.]


Today has been a day of failure, even though I am sure someone else might not see it that way.  My goal was to get my upgrade phone activated.  It is not.  Activated.  The only good news in this failure is that I can still use my original phone.

I am in a Catch-22 situation.  I ordered a phone.  Then I discovered I could get it cheaper through Best Buy, so I returned the first one (on the day I received it) and tried to order it through Best Buy.  Only the return had snafus in Sprint's system and my account was locked for four days.  Then, I was able to finish the order and was awaiting the new phone.  Sometime after that, someone put a debit on my account because my original phone was not returned.

The debit wasn't supposed to happen.
The debit is seemingly impossible to get off until the original phone is returned.
I need the original phone until the new one is activated.
The new one cannot be activated with a debit on my account.

The failure I haven't had yet is eating a dessert.  However, I must say that three days without dessert is a clear violation against my DNA.  I come from a long line of dessert eaters, a family dedicated to sweets with meals.  I am not ashamed of that.  I revel in one of the few commonalities I have with my family.  My genetic code has chocolate in it!

Still, discipline is good.
Even my chocolate-deprived cells of my body understand that.

I have let a third day go by without doing Amos' 30th foot treatment.  I need to keep them up every 10 days lest I have to go back to twice a week.  But I just get so weary thinking of torturing him for ten minutes.  Resisting his pitiful eyes until the treatment is done is near impossible.

So, I guess that is two failures and a success.