Saturday I got out in the yard for the first time since I fell ill in February. The work makes my soul sing and warms the cockles of my heart every time I lay eyes upon it. I shall post photos later, even though it isn't much.
I fed Amos.
I ate.
I slept 20 hours.
I woke.
I putzed around.
I slept another 4 hours.
I putzed more.
I went to bed for the evening.
I slept 14 hours.
I am exhausted.
I have been ever since I have been ill, even more so than my normal exhaustion from being chronically ill. The crushing fatigue is really no better. I fall asleep at the drop of a hat once I do something, anything, being it physical or mental labor. I engage my body or mind and I have to rest. Hours of zonked out sleep. Dead to the world. No say on my part. I fall asleep whether I want to or not.
Sunday, the reason I slept 20 hours is that when I am that exhausted, I have to sleep until the dizziness is gone. I get this dizziness in my fatigue that makes getting up actually pretty much impossible.
Right now, I'm still on the sofa, having been trying to stop sleeping here long enough to get up to bed. I need to get up there by 5:00 AM since the heart monitor is back up there now. Amos very much prefers it. And is it better for me. Besides, there are fresh sheets up there that have only been slept in once!
But I come home from physical therapy or some other medical appointment and the work of getting dressed and going out has me exhausted. It is all I can do to feed Amos and myself. I then often fight falling asleep or give in and sleep the evening away. Wake for midnight meds. And then doze until I can drag myself upstairs. Well, sweet talk Amos outside and then upstairs. Amos is quite good at keeping me company in my exhaustion.
I want my half-energy back!
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