The first day of a new month. A new beginning? I hope so.

I have found myself growing more and more pessimistic at work at times. I enjoy what I do. I marvel at the mission of the company. But I rail against the things at work that drive me crazy.

I cannot believe how many people leave things until the last minute. How many people come to meetings late. How many people are okay with sending out emails, letters, proposals, etc. that have not been spell-checked or proofed with any reliable accuracy.

But, more importantly, I am frustrated by how seemingly perceptions seem more important than reality. I check myself. I recount my actions. I pray. And… yet…most of the time when I am trying to help, I am perceived as not doing so.

I just wish I could live as a hermit, where nothing I do or say can be misinterpreted.

I wonder if I am wrong in thinking that, for the most part, no matter what is going on in my life I don’t let it affect my productivity or take it out on someone else?

A while ago, someone in senior management yelled at me and threatened me with my job. He apologized to my boss, but never to me. I learned that other things were going on, but I never would have yelled at him. I would never say half the stuff I hear from others or listen to on my voicemail or read in email.

But if I were honest with myself I would admit that my frustrations have spilled out onto the one person who does not deserve it. My boss. Frankly she should be up for corporate sainthood these days.