How much is too much...

I have been nauseous for nearly two weeks.  I have been running a fever for at least 9 days.  I have not eaten nearly enough because it is hard for me to prepare things.  But also nearly everything but lentils (with chicken), cheese, and fried eggs makes my stomach cramp and my innards roil.  Three different kinds of protein, really.  My realtor brought over my beloved Panera salad, which tasted good and whose huge dose of sodium gave me a boost, but has still caused inner turmoil.  I am at my wits end.

How much is too much?

The trip to the ER will be 40% my cost; those in VA usually ran $3,500.  It was disheartening hearing the doc ask "So, why are you here?" because by that time the coughing was better and the trembling was better and even my heart rate and blood pressure were better.  Time is mostly what I need.  He did dose me with steroids, which probably did help the after-shock attacks.  I only had two and one was barely bothersome. 

If I go to a doctor with non-specific nausea and low fever, what could she do...especially without running tests?  Being out of net-work, all the things that were free are no longer free.  It is not just 40% of her fee, but any blood work or scan or whatever other measuring tool will be on my tab. 

With my whole heart, I wish not to begin drowning in debt without some dire, obvious thing going on.  I am terrified she could run 1,001 tests and then say...Uhm...well...maybe it is stress. You did lose your job and you are unemployed and you did move to a strange city.

My realtor, who is a nurse, thinks I need antibiotics.  I sort of wonder since I am running that fever, which Tylenol doesn't seem ot help, if she might be right.  If I thought a new doctor would be game enough to say, okay, lets try antiobiotics first and if that doesn't help we'll judicuously start checking things, I would swallow the fee and go.  But wouldn't that be rude of me to say:  I have MS, dysautonomia, hypothyroidism, asthma, and arthritis, with a history of TB and Malaria (the latter two are enough to spook most docs).  I have non-specific nausea and fever, but I just want you to make your best guess and prescribe something because at least my prescription co-pays are the same.

How much is too much?  How much illness is too much?  How much expense is too much?

I am weary and weak and ill and frustrated and confused and not thinking clearly or logically or really any thinking worth much at all.  Those who know me well will understand the depths of my misery when I say that I have had whole days pass by when the TV, my beloved companion, has not even been turned on at all.

I have been trying to wait and rest and figure out by process of elimiation if there is anything that I can eat.  I was so defeated last night when acorn squash proved unacceptable to my innards. 

I think a lot about the fact that I have been off in my innards ever since the alleged food poisoning. I keep thinking that if I can give my innards a rest while still consuming something to keep body and soul together and finally get ahead of the fatigue (especially since protesting innards keep me up which then makes MS stuff worse), then I can get better on my own.  Except...how does the fever factor in???

How much is too much?


I am Yours, Lord.  Save me!