Please do not miss the important part...

I loathe reading the news on the Internet these days because some topics are simply overwhelming for me.  Only, I do not get a paper, so I keep reading.  Read this article.  Please.  Read it and do not miss the important part.

If you have great ire, as do I, that in 1998 a professional would have raised the warning about that man and be ignored, please try to set it aside.  If you are awash in anguish, thinking of all the children who were abused because no one heeded that cry, please try to step outside that pain.  If you despair that nothing will ever change, try to look to the silver lining in this news story.

For the important part of this article is not so much the devastating reality of the depth of sin and its hold on our world, a hold only made stronger by our proclivity to ignore it, to look away from it.  No, the important part of this story is that every single reader has the opportunity to learn a key insight/observation about pedophiles.  And if you learn this, perhaps you will begin to look for it, no matter how difficult it is for you to even think, much less believe, that a pedophile could be in your world...in your school, church, store, activity group, sports team, park, play group, family...and then the children around you will be that much safer.

Read about how Sandusky approached the boy.  Note how the boy, even though he felt uncomfortable and was disturbed by what happened, defended Sandusky.  Absorb not the horror or the evil, but the pattern of interaction.  And then take these words to heart:

“My consultants agree that the incidents meet all of our definitions, based on experience and education, of a likely pedophile’s pattern of building trust and gradual introduction of physical touch, within a context of a ‘loving,’ ‘special’ relationship,” Chambers wrote in her report.

There is a terrible pattern to the interaction with many sexual abusers.  Yes, there are those who strike unheralded.  But many shout their intentions to the world...if you are listening.  Many put them on display for all to see, if you are looking.  They deliberately, inexorably, lead a child to the place they want by slowly, ever so slowly, breaking down the child's scant defenses, by destroying the child's sense of safety.  They do this with words and good times and by little touches.  It is the proverbial frog in a pot.  You cannot put a frog in boiling water and expect it not to try and escape.  But if you put a frog in cold water, and gradually turn up the heat, the frog will never realized he is being destroyed.

Probably the worst part of the pattern is not so much the words or the touch, but the blatant attempt to make the child feel special.

We all want to feel special. This is true for adults, but it is most certainly true for children.  Yes, even I have often sought, for good reasons, to give children special times.  They need them. They deserve them.  Look at the incredible impact big brothers and big sisters can have in the life of a child.  For a child, it is a very heady things for an adult, other than your parents, to take an interest in you, to care for you and work to make your life brighter.  It is heady and powerful and good.  Embrace those who might wish to let your child know that she is loved, that he is valued.  But.  Be. Wary.

Remember the pattern.
Look.
Listen.
And do not be afraid to question special times, kind words, little touches.


Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.