Gardening by headlamp...

Yes, I caved.  I couldn't stand it.  I just had to get those bushes into the ground, tucked safely in with compost manure, peat, potting soil, and osmocote.  I thought that doing so at night would be okay.  I was wrong.

For one, wearing a headlamp whilst gardening late at night will frighten your neighbors.  So much so, you will find that the police come to visit you.  Huffing and puffing, red as a ripe tomato, I did not present as the most sane person in the world.  But the policemen did eventually take their leave.

For another, gardening by headlamp is still laborious.  So, I did not really cut down on the fainting or otherwise terrible strain on my failing body.  I should have found a way to get someone to put the bushes in the ground ... or found a way to remember that Firewood Man was going on vacation and would not be here to help me.

At least the bushes and moss rose are safely ensconced in their new homes.  The bed is not fully mulched.  I about died after the fourth bag and simply could not continue.  This required lugging two bags of potting soil, to bags of compost manure, one bag of peat, and four bags of mulch from the garage to the front of the house.  SIGH.

Third, well, gardening by headlamp can lead to dire consequences.  Literally, it can lead to having ants in your pants ... and socks ... and shirt ... and underclothing.  The stepping stone that Amos uses to protest the presence of people on the left side of the back yard is just out of position for proper protestation.  So, I took the time to move it.  I had four extra moss rose plants and thought to put them where the hyacinths bloomed near the gargoyle.

Moving things in the dark of night, using only a head lamp, means not being able to see what happens when you move.  Little bit by little bit, my legs started feeling as if they were on fire.  At first, I thought it was my nerves, then I realized the red stepping stone was no longer red.  It was swarming with ants.  Ants that were also swarming me!

I tried futilely to wipe them off my person before the horror of what was happening drove me to dire measures.  Everywhere I had wiped my gloves just transferred more ants to different parts of my body.  I had them biting my neck and moving southward whilst the main force was invading from the ground up.  So ... I ... Myrtle ... the one who remains clothed from ankle to wrist to neck ... striped completely naked in the back yard and grabbed the hose to get all of the ants off of my body.  Funny, no one called the police about an hysterical naked woman dancing about the back yard.

Leaving my clothes outside because I was certain that I would start an ant colony inside the house, I dashed upstairs and took a benedryl.  Since I didn't have the box anymore, I texted Celia to ask her how many were in a dose.  I jumped in the shower and scoured myself from head to toe in scalding hot water.  There were still ants on my body!  Who in the world remains sitting on an ant pile whilst trying to figure out what was wrong with her???

Celia texted me a photo of the box and told me the dose was 2 caplets.  I took a second.  Then, a short while later, I took a third.  Sadly, my anti-itch gel expired in 2006.  Just typing this, I am nearly certain that I am being bitten again!

When I finished my shower and got into my pajamas, I hastened to the basement and boldly grabbed my bottle of ant powder that has about 1,001 warnings on the label about how dangerous it is to use.  I then marched outside and very, very, very liberally doused the bed on both sides of the stone and then covered them up with mulch.  I put some more on the stepping stone (which I washed off early this morning before letting Amos out) and in the crack of the sidewalk where I had seen ants before.  Never in my life had I felt what vengeance was until that moment.  My entire being was screaming, "DIE ANTS!  DIE!!!"

Then, because I take my anxiety medication at night, which makes me sleepy at first, I came crashing down to earth as all that ant annihilation exile ration fled my being and the drugs I had swallowed took effect.  I zonked out.  And dreamed of being eaten alive all night.  SHUDDER.

I am very pleased to report that all the sedum cuttings appear to be rather happy in their new homes.  It warmed the cockles of my heart to have Marie notice the restoration of my porch plants when she came today.  I even think the pitiful baskets look slightly less pitiful.  Maybe, by summer's end, they will be decently full.  I do need to figure out a way to remember that if it is going to be near or below zero outside, I should take precautionary measures for the sedums.  They are quite hardy, but 14 below zero is asking a bit too much of them.  Of course, being my 4th winter, this one was inordinately severe.

Because I was trying to take a picture of the bushes and the ferns ...

... ah, look at them!  The center is still primarily empty, but the ones that survived the gutter extension project and the brutal winter are thriving! 

As I was saying, since I was trying to take photos of the front yard, I left Amos inside.

Have you ever seen a more forlorn puppy dog?  I can putter around the porch and have him sit/lie obediently on the bench, but if I step off the porch, he wants to join me.  I just don't know if he would stay by my side.  I do leave the door open, though, so he can still see me.  To him, that is not sufficient.

Anyway, despite my lingering exhaustion, the bites all over my person, and the lingering trauma (and shame over my response), I enjoyed having Marie come over to cook today.

Silly woman!  She read my blog entry yesterday and fetched a red velvet cake for us to eat!!  So, we had pre-brithday cake this week and will have post-birthday cake next week.  I had Marie carry it down to the basement refrigerator freezer so that I wouldn't see the cake and eat it.  Chances are, I shall forget and so we will have huge slabs of it again next week.

Marie cooked three freezer meals today, leaving my house smelling tantalizing from the roasted broccoli she used in her three-cheese basil pasta dish (the recipe is not posted yet on the recipe rememberer blog Marie made).  She also made Thai Honey Peanut Chicken and Spicy Dr Pepper Pulled Pork.  I whipped up a batch of Texas Flour Tortillas for her.  For our lunch, we had ginormous salads (wild leaf lettuce, slivered carrots, avocado, feta cheese, cucumber, and dried cranberries) with grilled chicken and the most summation (Oh, How We Have Miss It!!!) Grilled Corn on the Cob with Cheese and Lime. We are definitely having grilled corn again next week!

I will note that both the chicken and the corn grilled perfectly!  Truly, the investment in a new heat tent for the grill was a good decision.  We also used a more authentic-to-the-recipe cheese (queso fresco) for the corn, but I forgot to also get the crema.  So, we used half mayonnaise and half sour cream in the recipe.  I have no problem having the corn over and over and over again to get that recipe as-is.

After Marie left, I finished the dishes and cleaned the counters and the stove and took out the trash.  Then, I started thinking, which is never good these days.  So, I distracted myself by dropping off a return package at the UPS box.  And I called Mary.  Merciful woman.

We talked fears and food and writing.

Now, I am languishing in the GREEN chair, having doped myself up on benedryl again, since all the distractions of the day are gone and mind-over-matter in the itching department is no longer working.  I dared a look at my legs.  If you know the movie reference, my legs look like something that could be pictured in the book Diseases of the Skin.

But the bushes are planted.
And the sedums are settled.
And the grill is back up to snuff.

Would that it were that the fears consuming my soul were tended, too.