in the dark...

It started around 3:00 this morning and has yet to end.  Unrelenting waves of nausea. Nausea filling my entire being with misery. Nausea that fells me ever so completely.

It crossed my mind that I struggle more with the felling in the dark. My fear is greater. My despair harder to manage.  My thoughts more insensible. As the clock wound round, the nausea did not change, but I did.  In the light of day, my misery was more bearable.

Darkness has fallen once again.
The nausea a foe I cannot shake.
The magnitude of the battle once more overwhelming.

I do not remember it ever going on so long without respite. I have been downing Zofran without effect. Sipping Gingerale. Nibbling saltines. And generally trying to find a position for my body that makes the misery more bearable.

Amos, too, has tried to find a way to be with me without hurting me. It's been hard. He's persistent. I want him with me, but sometimes the nausea is so bad that I do not want to be touched.  It's a terrible dilemma for us both.

I do wonder ... why is the nausea so much harder to face in the dark?