More days lost...

More days lost.  SIGH.

Mostly, I've been taking care of things.  I called GE and got an appointment for my new stove.  It took me months and months and months to figure out why it is not broiling evenly.  The broiler isn't lit evenly!  A no brainer, I know.  But it took me forever to realize that.  I've got less than two months of warranty left, so I wanted to have someone come out.  Of course, it took me a few weeks to work up the energy to make that call.

Then, sadly, the only appointment was for the morning hours. So, getting up for that was taxing and recovering from both the stranger in my house and the early morning was the same.  Just typing that wearies me.  The upside is that the broiler is going to be replaced to ensure that it is not the part as opposed to how the model works.  If it is the model, I shall be a bit disappointed.  I really do adore cooking with gas.  I suppose I could learn to rotate the pan whilst broiling.  Maybe.  Another thing to remember.  SIGH.

Then, I had to work up the energy to call Whirlpool again.  The parts were replaced at the end of September on repair trip #3 (each repair actually takes 2-3 visits to the house) and there has been no real change in the refrigerator.  It still freezes my food and is sometimes much warmer.  Personally, I think it is that it is the damper, even though it has been replaced twice.  I think that it is a faulty part that Whirlpool hasn't resolved.  But, then again, what do I know about refrigerators?

Finally, I am being referred to the unit replacement program.  I have yet to hear back, but some time in the next 3 business days (since 2 have passed) I should receive a call from the program.  I am a bit skeptical, after all this time, that things can work out.  However, it would be a great relief to have a reliable refrigerator again.  One less worry to have on my plate.

I have also been working on my prescriptions.  As I mentioned the other day, I have been working on looking up other options for nerve pain management that might be viable ones for me.  A lot of folk in my Facebook support groups are deeply worried about having their opioids taken away from them. Already they are facing terrible obstacles toward getting (and taking) their current medications (mostly in the Pudendal Neuralgia and Trigeminal Neuralgia groups).  That pain is so bloody severe that often opioids are the only thing that works.  For many of them, the opioids do not even take away the pain.  They just lessen it.  Genuine chronic pain patients are caught in the movement to combat addiction and it is terrifying for them.

Something that comes up again and again is the idea of having counseling to learn to live with the pain.  Mostly cognitive behavioral therapy is what I see.  Whilst that sounds good, it is more complicated that something that seems reasonable.  For some, it is the easy way out for doctors who are not understanding or believing of their pain.  In the Pudendal Neuralgia world, this is especially true.  Even though everyone has a pudendal nerve, some doctor's doubt is can cause the debilitating pain that it does.  Funny that since other neuralgias are recognized.  SIGH.

Plus, it is utterly devastating to hear that nothing more can be done for you.  Going into counseling has to be the patient's choice.  But more and more pain management clinics are making it a requirement to continue receiving the same treatment that a patient has had for a while.  Essentially, they feel their pain medication is being held hostage.

Sometimes, I get that.  I mean, from the time I started taking Xanax to the end, how it was given changed.  At the end, I had to get a prescription every month or so.  And it was extremely stressful because the drug is not something you can stop cold turkey.  I was on a relatively low dose and yet I was treated as if I was some kind of junkie.  What I could get, the length of time between having to what felt like begging for refills, dwindled.  I had wanted to get off the drug for a while, but every time I asked for help, my request was brushed aside, even when I talked about how stressful it was to always be in limbo over whether or not I would be able to get more Xanax.  SIGH.

So, a bit of that ... continuing coverage concern ... still lingers with me.  I am now taking three medications that cannot be stopped abruptly.  Managing those prescriptions is stressful to me, even though I am in the best of situations right now, with good doctors who are good listeners and are supportive of my care.

For the baclofen, we increased that last month, although I put off starting the gradual increase for two weeks just thinking about the side effects I would experience again.  Then, it was trying to get the prescription changed to the 10 mg pills, which are both easier for me to swallow and are cheaper.  Today, I receive my bottles of the next shipment and they are the 10 mg ones.  Yay.

For the gabapentin, I had to end up asking via the messaging system, for an increase because I just CANNOT STAND this constant shocking in my hands.  There was a bit of a miscommunication, so the original order was not sent in, but I got that one re-sent.  I am now one week into the gradual increase of that drug.  Being extra cautious with that one means a much slower increase.

Then, I had a bit of a panic about the gabapentin 400 mg pills because I am nearly out of them and will need another bottle before I fill my meds a week from Sunday.  I had forgotten to order them when I noticed the dwindling supply when I was filling my meds last Sunday.  That forgetting, when I discover it, grieves and distresses me.  I had to go through all my meds and figure out which ones I needed from the mail order pharmacy to get that order done.

Then, I needed to have my hormones refilled, only this is a new prescription and it was not entered in correctly last time, so I was trying to figure out if it was corrected before I tried to refill it again.  That was a bit of a management process.  But I am glad to say that those are ready to pick up once I can drag myself out of the house.

Finally, I was working on my sister's birthday box.  I have been a wretched sister when it comes to celebrating her birthday my entire adult life.  My family doesn't really do birthday celebrations, not like I see in other families.  I find it hurtful, but I never stopped to think about how my sister found it.  That's why, when I realized she had no celebrating of her 50th, I decided to share mine.  Thinking about that still, I wanted to send her something good for her birthday.

She was appreciative of my newfound lemon pound cake skill and I got the rather brilliant idea of sending her one for her birthday.  And, because the box needed filling out, I also made her some of those bloody fantastic brown sugar oatmeal cookies and some of the maple chili roasted sunflower seeds.  Finally, I took care to wrap the present I bought her to make it extra special pretty.  Now, to be honest, I shall admit that I reuse wrapping supplies like nobody's business.  I haven't bought anything more than a gift bag in well over a decade.  Still, I think that I did a good job.  And then I got the box packaged up and off to the post office today.

All of that ... well ... I am exhausted.  And so I sit, trying to ignore the constant shocks taking place in my hands, and think about blogging without actually doing so.  Who would have thought that I would come to a place in my life when I am too exhausted to write.  SIGH.

Oh, this wretched life of mine!