I had a friend for 22 years, until she got engaged and then married. I was not at her wedding. I had been unemployed for a long while before it came up and travel is difficult for me. I am not sure if my absence was unforgivable, or if it was because she finally found a husband that ended our friendship. She was the only person in my life, aside from my family, who I had known as a youth.

I miss her.

After reading the The Spirituality of the Cross, I got the bright idea of sending the book to her as a way of reaching out to her. I called first, just to see if it was okay to send the book. She said, "Yes." She even emailed me her new address (I have not known how to reach her since she was married).

Today, I received an email from Amazon.com. The package was never received. She never signed for it. The email was to let me know that my account had been credited back for the book.

Am I such an awful person?