I am so stinking tired.

Would that I had a button somewhere about my head that I could use to switch off my brain.

A day made longer by three separate problems with the newsletter design file and one dropped ball with a reporter.  SIGH.

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I spent the evening with Kleinig again, racing ahead, wanting to get to page 151 and the mysteries of prayer, then turning back.  Again and again and again...reception.  What does that really mean?

I am a beggar.  This I can understand because I know my sin.  And I flee from works.  I embrace wholeheartedly the idea that my own works will gain me nothing because they have!  However, I keep putting myself in the mindset that I have done something or have not done something.  Alas, works permeates my very being!  I read scripture from works; Pastor from reception.  What he sees and that which I do often are separated by a schism wider than the grand canyon, engulfing my heart.  I want to see differently....

...when we meditate on God's Word, we are on the receiving end from God.  God is the actor, and he operates on us.  He speaks, and we listen.  We receive from Him as He gives of Himself to us.  As we receive His Word into our hearts by meditating on it, it does its work in us.  Scripture changes us inwardly and gradually permeates everything we think and feel and say and do.  It brings the Holy Spirit with it, the Spirit who makes us spiritually fruitful and productive.  (114-115)

As we hold to the enlightening Word, the light of Christ permeates us; it drives out the darkness in us and illuminates the whole of our being so that we who are children of the light begin to produce the fruit of light (cf. Ephesians 5:8-14).  The light of Christ bring life and sight, warmth and energy with it.  Just as the light of the sun produces physical life, sight, warmth, and energy in our world, so also God's Word brings life to our dying souls, vision to our dark minds, warmth to our cold hearts, and energy to our weak bodies.  Through His Word the triune God comes to us, makes His home with us and fills us with radiance of His presence (cf. John 14:23).

The illumination that we experience through meditation on God's Word does not affect our thinking; it permeates the whole of us and heals all parts of us.  Our souls are revived so that we share more and more in the life of Christ the Son in His fellowship with God the Father.  Our minds are transformed so that we think as Christ thinks and see ourselves and others as God the Father sees us.  Our hearts are softened so that we become attuned to the heart of God the Father and feel as He does about ourselves and about others.  Our bodies are energized so that we live by His grace and work together with Him in the world.  So, as we meditate on His Word, we stand in His light and borrow light for ourselves from Him.  (115-116)

Even as I race ahead, this snippet of Luther's calls me back:

You should meditate...not only in your heart, but also externally, by actually repeating and comparing oral speech and literal words of the book, reading and rereading them with diligent attention and reflection, so that you may see what the Holy Spirit means by them...For God will not give you His spirit without the external Word; so take your cue from that.  His command to write, preach, read, hear, sing, speak, etc. outwardly was not given in vain. (110)


Somewhere I read how he also traced his fingers upon the words.  I do that, not merely to hold my place in the book or track where I am on the page.  The letters are not raised, but sometimes it seems as if they are.  Words that leap out at me these days:  for Christ's sake, keep, holy, and forgiven...