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Pastor came for parking-lot-confession again today. Again I talked too long for him to leave me with a hymn, so no returning to work with secret hymn joy. And, well, there was really hardly any "admonition and comfort from the Holy Scriptures for the despairing and anguished soul." In truth, I sat in the back seat instead of the front because I find it difficult to understand how it is okay to return to God again and again and again asking forgiveness for the same sin. I didn't want to see a deep sigh on Pastor's face. Again, she's bringing up that? Not that he would, really, but.... To give him credit, Pastor said not a word about my choice of seat and only twisted around when it was time for absolution. He did sing for me the Agnus Dei. I read aloud Psalm 91 to prepare...a psalm of trust for one who struggles mightily to understand what trust is in her life....
As much as I cried in the car...and I did cry...I must say that I spent the afternoon basking in the wonder of God's forgiveness. I left his car wishing he had more words for me. But the words he spoke at the last soaked in, took hold, and were enough.
Truly I believe it was this parking-lot grace that carried me through a particularly rough moment this afternoon.
We held a winter clothing drive for children and ended up with 32 bags of coats and clothing for adults. So, I called a local church that runs a thermal shelter and asked if they would like the clothing. After three abortive appointments, today they came and fetch everything. So glad was the coordinator that she abruptly hugged me. Then, before I could do anything, she directed the two men with her to hug me too. They did. One kissed me. I know this should be just a moment in time, a moment of thankfulness and joy in knowing they would be able to help those who come to them in need. This I know. However, the night of the concert is never far from my mind. I was terrified. The man who kissed me was rough-shaven. I still feel his whiskers on my face and his hands gripping my arms as he pulled me close. Again. He meant no harm. He couldn't know. He couldn't know what he was doing to me.
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Walther or Kleinig? Never before have I read two books at a time, never before have I been so torn in study. Lutheran doctrine or Lutheran spirituality?
SIGH
Walther
The Eighth Evening lecture begins Thesis IV: The true knowledge of the distinction between the Law and teh Gospel is not only a glorious light, affording the correct understanding of the entire Holy Scriptures, but without this knowledge Scripture is and remains a sealed book.
In the intro section, he quotes a bit of Luther's exposition of Psalm 37:
There is not a plainer book on earth than the Holy Scriptures. It is, in comparison with all other books, what the sun is compared with all other luminaries. The papists are giving us their twaddle about Scriptures for the sole purpose of leading us away from the Scriptures and raising up themselves as masters over us in order to force us to believe their preaching of dreams. It is an abomination, a disgraceful defamation of Holy Write and the entire Christian Church, to say that the Holy Scriptures are obscure, that they are not clear enough to be understood by everybody and to enable everybody to teach and prove what he believes. (59)
We do not exactly have the papists setting themselves up as authority these days, but it struck me that so many people say that the bible is hard for them to read, all of it or some of it. Someone I really respect finds the Psalter near unreadable and not for her. The prayers of the Living Word are not for her! Somehow she and others learn that the bible is not really theirs; it is the theologians' and pastors'. Really, it is only theirs through Christian pop culture books that cloud the Gospel and purport to have the steps that will lead to a godly life and bible studies that are focuses more on works--things that you should be doing--than revealing all that God is doing, longs to do, for you and the bald, blunt, unvarnished truth that there is absolutely positively nothing that we can do nor God desires us to do with regard to salvation and holiness. Both are His work alone.
Though I have written it a dozen times already, this is what truly amazes me about Lutheran doctrine. The whole of it, the breadth and depth of it, is contained in a single book...a single, very accessible book.
Luther's use of "twaddle" reminded me of his preface to the Large Catechism. Such passion had he for bringing the pure teaching of the Living Word into the hearts of every man. He was not merely raging against the false teaching, the works based doctrine that had permeated the pulpits; he was raging against the fact that so many men, women, and children were being denied what they needed for eternal life.
In a sense, he wanted to make it possible for people to learn the truth, to be taught properly, no matter what "swine" or "glutton" is in the pulpit. As pastor pointed out, Romans tells us that we need pastors to teach, to illuminate the bible for us. But if the man standing before you on Sundays errs in his teaching, still you would have access to what you need to know, to understand. Salvation will not come apart from the Holy Spirit--it will be that closed book--but for those clothed in Christ the bible is wide open...not something reserved for scholars.
Come to think of it...the bible is the only "for me" that I have never doubted!
There is good stuff in this lecture. Good stuff. Of course, I am biased for anything that extols the riches, the wonder of the Living Word. However, I shall not dump the entire lecture in your laps this evening. Two bits I shall share:
Turning the leaves of the Holy Scriptures while still ignorant of the distinction between the Law and Gospel, a person receives the impression that a great number of contradictions are contained in the Scriptures; in fact, the entire Scriptures seem to be made up of contradictions, worse than the Koran of the Turks. Now the Scriptures pronounce one blessed, now they condemn him. When the rich youth asked the Lord: "What good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?" The Lord replied: "If thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments." When the jailer at Philippi addressed the identical question to Paul and Silas, he received this answer: "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved and thy house/" ON the one hand, we read in Habakkuk 2, 4: The just shall live by his faith"; on the other hand, we note that John in his First Epistle, chapter 3,7, says: "He that doeth righteousness is righteous." Over and against this the Apostle Paul declares: "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." On the one hand, we note that Scripture declares that God had no pleasure in sinners; on the other hand, we find that it states: "Whoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." In one place Paul cries: "The wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men," and Psalm 5, 4 we read: "Thou are not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness; neither shall evil dwell with Thee"; in another place we hear Peter saying: "Hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you." One the one hand, we are told that all the world is we are told that all the world is under the wrath of god; on the other hand, we read: "God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotton Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Another remarkable passage is I Corinthians 6, 9-11, where the apostle first makes this statement: "Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom of God," and then adds: "And such were some of you. But ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of God." Must not a person who knows nothing of the distinction between the Law and Gospel be swallowed up in utter darkness when reading all this? Must he not indignantly cry out: "What? That is to be God's Word? A book full of contradictions?"
For the situation is not this, that the Old Testament reveals a wrathful, the New Testament a gracious God, or that the Old Testament teaches salvation by a person's own works, the New Testament, by faith. No; we find both teachings in the Old as well as in the New Testament. But the moment we learn to know the distinction between Law and Gospel, it is as if the sun were rising upon the Scriptures, and we behold all the contents of the Scriptures in the most beautiful harmony. We see that the Law was not revealed to us to put the notion into our heads that we can become righteous by it, but to teach us that we are utterly unable to fulfill the Law. We we have learned this, we shall know what a sweet message, what a glorious doctrine, the Gospel is and shall receive it with exuberant joy. (61-62)
I really enjoyed the long, long passage showing seemingly one "contradiction" after another, drawing you in more and more. Yes, it does say that. But then this, too! Yet Walther points out that this is not so! I love the harmony, the balance, the blending of Old and New Testament. There is no Old for them and New for us. God is revealed throughout. Jesus permeates all the pages, not just the red-letter ones! His words are the Word. It is why it is Living, why when Pastor read Psalm 28 to me, my first thought was how wonderful it was, how perfect it was for me, how I had not heard that one before even though I have prayed the Psalter through over a dozen times since July. It is why Psalm 91 had different meaning for me today in the back seat of Pastor's car. His Word is fresh and new each moment, each day for every single person on earth...all those who have been, all those who are, and all those who will be--no one excepted!
What I also enjoyed (for the fellowship) and the wonder (how could this be so)...was the next bit:
Remember the agonies of our dear Luther! Considering the darkness which reigned in his day, we must say that, compared with others he had acquired a great deal of knowledge at the beginning of his career, but he did not know how to distinguish the Law from the Gospel. Oh,the toil and torments he had to undergo! His self-castigation and fasting brought him to the point of death. The most crushing, most appalling statement in his estimation at the time was this, that the righteousness which is valid in the sight of God is revealed in the Gospel. "Alas!" he mused, "what a woeful state of affairs! First we are approached by the Law, which demands of us that we fulfill it; and now, in addition, we are to be made righteous by obeying the Gospel!" Luther confesses that there were times in his life when he was harassed with blasphemous thoughts. Suddenly a new light shone upon him, showing him of what kind of righteousness the Gospel is speaking. He relates from that moment he began to run through the whole Scriptures in an endeavor to obtain a clear understanding as to which portion of the Scriptures are Law and which Gospel. He says that he pried into every book in the Bible, and now all its parts became clear to him. The birth of the Reformer dates from the moment when Luther understood this distinction. The tremendous success of his public activity, moreover, is due to the same cause. By his new knowledge Luther liberated the poor people from the misery into which they had been driven by the Law-preaching of their priests. (62-63)
Sometimes Pastor remarks that I have a lot in common with Luther. I inwardly scoff at such a thought. I do believe that Luther was intimately acquainted with despair and anguish, for such compassion he holds for the struggling Christian could only come from one who shared the experience. But how in the world could Pastor equate one mote of my heart with such a learned, devout man as Luther?
In reading this, I did, perhaps, note a similarity or two. Perhaps Pastor is not quite so far off as I imagine him to be!
Would that the Holy Spirit teach me more of this proper distinction between Law and Gospel Would that the expansive schism between my Protestant mind and my Lutheran soul be crossed so that I, too, can read all of the Living Word, not merely parts, with the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ as easily as does Pastor. Would that I understand, without fear and trepidation, what it truly means to be forgiven, to fall beneath the grace of the Cross and the mercy of the Son of God who chose, without reservation and without hesitation, to endure its agony, to endure its shame, for me. Would that I would know the joy of the fellowship of suffering, the marvel of the mystery of being clothed with Christ, and the wonder of the Creator of the Universe telling me, "I have chosen you and not rejected you.... I have called you by name; you are Mine."
Would that I could escape the fear and shame that lingers from this afternoon....
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