Wednesday, June 16, 2010

My writing student is back!

Okay, she has been back for more than a week, but she came over tonight to spend sometime with me.  Her feet had barely crossed the threshold before I started speaking a mile a minute, telling her all the things that I have been carrying about in my heart in the six months she's been off having the most glorious of experiences as a student abroad.

So magnificent is she, Katie Bess allowed me to natter on and on the whole evening. Can you tell I have missed her greatly?

Nine years ago, she came into my life, and I would say one of the greatest privileges I have been given by our God in Heaven has been to watch her grow into the most beautiful young woman and a writer who puts me to shame.  Hers is a most enviable pen!

I am quite giddy when Bettina and Katie Bess come see me.  Quite giddy.  The little child bouncing up and down on her seat in anticipation and excitement. Her presence alone brings the same peace that Bettina's does:  I am safe; I am free to be me; I have someone to help me who will not count the cost.

Something that she blurted out was a bit of comfort for me:  Your hair!  Yes, my hair is still disinclined to remain attached to my head, albeit more reluctantly than during the whole puking episode.  Sadly, even the small wisps growing back fall out.  Brushing my hair in the morning is quite disheartening.  However, my writing student gave me a bit of encouragement because she noticed that my hair has been growing rather rapidly of late.  She guestimated 8 inches since she last laid eyes upon me, and I would probably concur.  It is wispy and a bit straw-like, but it is past half-way down my back and falling down toward my hips.  The length I've longed to gain has come in spades. 

I find it rather ironic that tonight, for the past few hours (it is mid-way toward morning, but I have back-dated this to remain on Wednesday), I have been so blooming cold that I turned the heat on despite it nearing official summer.  I have two blankets, three layers of clothing, and a heating pad on my stomach.  Nothing is working.  You would think I was in the wilds of Alaska in the dead of winter.  Siberia even!

In the interest of honesty, I shall admit that I have fainted twice this week.  Monday, it was because of my heart.  Today, it was because I started my day with a Twinkie.  A co-worker, so bothered by how I am treated, started keeping a stash in her desk to supply me on bad days.

I walked into work this morning and found an impossible To Do List email from my boss.  So discouraged was I that I went straight to the co-worker and told her, ten minutes after arriving at work, that today was most definitely going to be a Twinkie day!

When my boss asked me to fetch her lunch, I took the time to talk with Bettina.  During that quickie call, I bemoaned the fact that I thought my blood sugar was dropping.  It was.  I bought some lunch, too, since I was out and tried to hold on until eating regularly would make a difference, but crashing to the floor went this little lamb of Christ.

I have come to the conclusion that Twinkies, at least for me, are not breakfast food. 


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I am growing too tired again, losing the gain I garnered this weekend, spending more time asleep than awake.  My right knee has moved out of socket twice this day.  Bloody thing!


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I am finding that there is a certain kind of confidence that comes from being loved...comfort and peace as well....


Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!

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