Blackened...

On any given day, I have a most favorite bit of the Christian Book of Concord, which means I have many, many most favorite bits.  On any given day, I have a most worst part of neurological disease, which means I have many, many most worst parts.  One is ruining food.

All the lists and instructions in the world do not help if you do not remember to read them.  Likewise, all the alarms in the world do not help if you do not remember to set them.

I burned lunch.  Always ... always ... doing so fells me.  I become very, very frustrated with myself.  I worry about the financial waste.  And I despair over the state of my brain.  SIGH.

Speaking of that, how many times must something occur to begin to wonder if it is a new symptom?

Thrice now I have smelled something that simply was not there.  The first was the smell of burning toast.  [No, the heater was not running at the time. Nor was the seminary grad student cooking.]  The second time I could swear I smelled buttered corn.  I could practically taste it.  However, I was lying in bed in the middle of the night.  This last time I smelled vinegar, so sharp my eyes watered and mouth soured.  I decided to write down the dates and smells for my next doctor visit.

I will also say that the worst part is the nerve problem on my head.  At first, there was just a small area where pressure upon it (even a barrette) would make me grow ill, first a headache, then nausea, then vomiting and weakness.  Now, sadly, even pressure on the side of my head results in those symptoms.  That means, yes, that my glasses now make me ill.  [Isn't that just not fair?]  I have been trying to wear them tucked just at the top of the outside of my ears, but they often fall.  And if they are not set properly, the improper vision correction gives me a headache.  I either need to have some sort of hooks installed at the tops of my ears or have someone design frames that go down the side of my face at an angle and then curve up behind my ears back toward the front of my face.  Sadly, I do not know any inventors.

That means, every day I either have a headache from wearing my glasses or I have one from trying to see without my glasses.  DOUBLE SIGH.

So, I am not having all that good of a day.  I burned my lunch.  My head hurts.  And I am exhausted.  This is from yesterday's headache keeping me awake last night until a new concern cropped up: Amos started vomiting.  I am trying to believe it was from something he found to eat that was not compatible with his tummy.  However, in the back of my mind, is the poisoning on Wednesday.  I watched him breathe for the rest of the "night,"delaying his breakfast several hours.  Once he did eat, everything stayed down.  Thus far....


Lord, have mercy.  Christ, have mercy.  Lord, have mercy.