Come. Just come...

Reason #431 Why I LOVE the Christian Book of Concord:

I often become paralyzed from either fear or shame, the former being what I expect when that which causes the latter is revealed.  It would be easy to blame my ill health on the delay, and such is a small part of the reason, but I was terribly behind on a project for Lutherans in Africa because of fear and shame, more so than because I have struggled so much with the physical decline of my body.

I planned in advance and set up a schedule for my work.  Then I missed my own start date, felled by struggles in both body and mind.  Then a day passed and another, until before I knew it the date for sending my portion of the project came and passed.  Then the late days started piling up.  In my shame and fear, I did not even start. I wanted to do. I talked about doing so. I set goals for doing so.  But all that I could think about is that I had failed others.  Days turned into weeks that turned into more than a month.  Last night (with much technical assistance in navigating the strangeness of Macs), I started and completed my part of the initial work.  And then, weeping with shame and shaking rather violently with fear, I emailed the info to the two people who take the next steps, fully confessing the whys and wherefores behind my delay and asking for forgiveness.

Today, I received forgiveness from both and we are moving forward.

I do not like how my brain has changed, both from disease and from the ravages of sins committed against me.  In many and various ways, I respond and think like a child--something that is extremely disconcerting for a woman of 45.  While I am learning *why* this is so from a mental standpoint that I might combat it and change, the physical ravaging continues.  So, it is as if I am racing from two ends against the middle.  I am not confident, in all sincerity, that I will learn to be brave and bold and to unlearn the wrong things I learned as a chile before the declining condition of my cognitive faculties and the ever increasing (damned) anxiety from the disease takes over my brain in full.

But, in a way, this is yet another reason why I love the Christian Book of Concord.  In Part V of the Large Catechism, Luther writes about this very state; he writes about become paralyzed by sin and shame when it comes to approaching the Lord's Supper.

"Then nature and reason begin to add up our unworthiness in comparison with the great and precious good.  Then our good looks like a dark lantern in contrast with the bright sun, or like filth in comparison with precious stones.  Because nature and reason see this, they refuse to approach and wait until they are prepared.  They wait so long that one week trails into another, and half the year into the other.  If you consider how good and pure you are and labor to have no hesitations, you would never approach." (56-57)

Just as my project partners did, Luther gives no word of condemnation for such a state.  He does not berate the hesitation, does not judge those paralyzed in fear and shame and failure, telling them they should stop feeling that way or to buck up.  Instead, he merely points out that such a state is *normal* for the human condition:

"But whoever would gladly receive grace and comfort should drive himself and allow no one to frighten him away [from the Lord's Supper]. Say, "I, indeed, would like to be worthy. But I come, not upon any worthiness, but upon Your Word, because You have commanded it. I come as one who would gladly be Your disciple, no matter what becomes of my worthiness." This is difficult. We always have this obstacles and hindrance to encounter: we look more upon ourselves than upon Christ's Word and lips. For human nature desires to action in such a way that it can stand and rest firmly on itself. Otherwise, it refuses to approach [the altar for the Lord's Supper]." (62-63)

He is telling the anguished soul, "It is okay to be and feel this way.  I understand and offer no judgment.  Your triune God understands and offers no judgment.  Come.  Just come."

Thus, to me, Part V is a love letter from Christ to the struggling soul, wooing her to the very thing that she needs: the forgiveness, the healing, and the sustenance given in His body and blood.

"Such people must learn that it is the highest art to know that our Sacrament does not depend on our worthiness. We are not baptized because we are worthy and holy. Nor do we go to Confession because we are pure and without sin. On the contrary, we go because we are poor, miserable people. We go exactly because we are unworthy." (65)

"For Christ Himself says, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick." ...He means those who are weary and heavy-laden with their sins, with the fear of death, temptations of the flesh, and of the devil. If, therefore, you are heavy laden and feel your weakness, then go joyfully to this Sacrament [Lord's Supper] and receive refreshment, comfort, and strength." (71-73)

"On this account it is indeed called a food of souls, which nourishes and strengthens the new man.  For by Baptism we are first born anew.  But, as we have said before, there still remains the old vicious nature of flesh and blood in mankind.  There are so many hindrances and temptations of the devil and of the world that we often become weary and faint, and sometimes we also stumble.

"Therefore, the Sacrament is given as a daily pasture and sustenance, that faith may refresh and strengthen itself so that it will not fall back in such a battle, but become ever stronger and stronger. The new life must be guided so that it continually increases and progresses.  But it must suffer much opposition.  For the devil is such a furious enemy.  When he sees that we oppose him and attack the old man, and that he cannot topple us over by force, he prowls and moves about on all sides.  He tries every trick and does not stop until he finally wears us out, so that we either renounce our faith or throw up our hands and put up our feet, becoming indifferent or impatient.  Now to this purpose the comfort of the Sacrament is given when the heart feels that the burden is becoming too heavy, so that it may gain here new power and refreshment." (24-27)

"Here [the Lord's Supper] He offers to us the entire treasure that He has brought for us from heaven. With the greatest kindness He invites us to receive it also in other places, like when He says in St. Matthew 11:38, "Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." It is surely a sin and a shame that He so cordially and faithfully summons and encourages us to receive our highest and greatest good, yet we act so distantly toward it. We permit so long a time to pass without partaking of the Sacrament that we grow quiet cold and hardened, so that we have no longing or love for it. We must never think of the Sacrament as something harmful from which we had better flee, but as a pure, wholesome, comforting remedy that grants salvation and comfort. It will cure you and give you life both in soul and body. For where the soul has recovered, the body is also relieved." (66-68)

"With God's grace, you may feel your misery more and become hungrier for the Sacrament, especially since the devil doubles his force against you. He lies in wait for you without resting so that he can seize and destroy you, soul and body. You are not safe from him for one hour. How soon he can have you brought suddenly into misery and distress when you least expect it!" (84)

Thus says our Savior:  Come.  Just come.  Come in fear.  Come in trembling.  Come in shame.  Come in guilt.  Come.  You are welcome.  Come and receive that which will ease your anguish and bolster you against the next onslaught of our foe--the onslaught of the devil, the world, and our very flesh--when you are welcome to come again.  Even if you find yourself back in anguish, shame, fear, guilt.  Come.  Just come.  For these very reasons are why I, who love you so, gave this gift *for you*!