I really did need new glasses...

My life is the kind of life in which hearing that I have had a significant change in my vision after just 18 months and need new glasses is good news.  I was truly worried that my vision problems were all neurological, rather than just part neurological.

Now, when I am weary and cannot see to read or to watch television, that is neurological. But, hopefully, not being able to see the sink or the ground beneath my feet will be solved once my new glasses arrive.   In fact, the eye doctor asked why I had not come in sooner, given the change in my prescription.  I was a bit chagrinned at that moment, thinking that seeing clearly comes so very low on my financial totem pole.

For the past three weeks or so, now, my right eye has been twitching, or rather the muscle just below my right eye has been twitching.  Twitching makes seeing even harder.  The eye doctor said that, while there could be other reasons, the strain of trying to see all the time could very well be why the twitching started.  The fact that the twitching makes it hard to fall asleep—if twitching is taking place at that moment—just feeds into the cycle of fatigue that makes seeing difficult.

I very much would like to know when my sink and floors are dirty ... without sticking my nose up close to them.  At least, I very much would like to know when they are dirty if a visitor is to come.  And, while I had to buy the same frames again (they are single use), I will have a spare pair of glasses that will work well enough for those times when I put my glasses down and cannot see to find them again.  I plan to keep my current glasses in the servant's closet atop the staging area.  Remember that for me, will you?

I feel asleep in the chairs whilst waiting for my appointment.  Embarrassing.

Weariness in body, mind, spirit, soul.

For two days, I have been trying to get the 2014 pre-authorization forms faxed to my doctor's office for the three prescriptions needing pre-authorization.  I called at the beginning of November and explained that I would need a refill on one of them the first Sunday in January, which meant I had just two business days in the calendar year to get this done. I was told to call back two days before my appointment with my doctor and the forms would be faxed.

They cannot be mailed to me.
They cannot be faxed to me.
They cannot be emailed to me.
They can only be faxed to my doctor's office.
They cannot be faxed to my doctor without a staff member verifying the fax number.
All fax numbers have to be personally verified each and every time a fax is sent.
Even if a fax is sent the day before, the next day the fax number has to be reverified.
Verification is done by the prescription department talking to someone in the doctor's office.
Once verification has been documented, the forms are forwarded to the fax department.
Faxing takes two business days.

So, the bottom line is, the faxes have not been sent.  The bottom line is that when I called back at the beginning of November and explained that I was trying to work out the logistics in advance and needed to know all the steps that were necessary to get the forms to my doctor.  I asked the same question many ways, writing down the answers and asking if there was anything else that I needed to know.

I really needed to know that the prescription plan department had to actually talk to someone in my doctor's office.  Timely response is not her staff's best skill.  Plus, getting the pre-authorization the first time around was so time-consuming and so stressful that my doctor's nurse said they would not be able to do so again.

At the time, I felt threatened.
At the time, I felt defeated.
At the time, an overwhelming anxiety about getting the 2014 pre-authorizions was born.

Two days of calling, of asking for them to call, of leaving voice mails, of asking for forms, of explaining about the time difficulty and how much I need to be able to pick up Erythromycin.  Of course, the bottom line is that I can always pick up my prescriptions at the cash price and then request reimbursement.  Those requests also need verification.

Would it not make sense, given that every subscriber with prescriptions requiring pre-authorization needs new pre-authorizations at the first of the New Year, to have some system in place to streamline that process?

I am weary of battling.
I am weary of making plans to avoid the chaos of anxiety only to end up being anxious over failed plans.
I am weary of battling everything.


I am Yours, Lord.  Save me!