From where I sit...

The cattle prod to my back has ceased.  Thankfully.  This was a short nerve pain flare and, when I could be quiet enough in my mind to assess the matter, slightly less painful, though I believe pain in your back is almost as bad as pain in your head.  A backgraine?

I am so very, very, very thankful to have a GP willing to try and make some parts of my life better, if possible.  I remain in ... shock ... really that she would even bring it up, would know that my hair hurt and not laugh at that.  Not call me "anxious" or "stressed."  Gabapentin might very well join the lofty ranks of Celebrex and Zofran as being my best friend.

Since my mother's visit, I have been wearing, at home, a flowy skirt with my hoodie, instead of my beloved men's lounge pants.  It is my effort to look less like a sick person and more like a regular person.  The flowy skirts I got on Amazon for a bargain price and now I know why.  After just two years the elastic is out.  So, I am trying to wear them with just the thin drawstring.  That is not going so well, but Amos is really the only one to see me hitching up my skirt all the time.

When I was trying to explain to my mother about why in the world I would give up my beloved GREEN chair, I mostly said it was because I found myself lounging in it more being anywhere else.  It was easier.  Took less effort.  The path of least resistance to my body.  Only I have been trying and trying to sit up more since getting the pacemaker and the chair was just too much of a temptation.  I think, though, she might have understood more that it didn't fit with how I was envisioning my more-welcoming living room.  More comfortable first and foremost.  But, after that, also more welcoming and inviting.

Along the lines of foregoing the ease of the GREEN chair, I decided that I wanted to try and take my meals at the dining room table, instead of on a TV tray whilst sitting on one of the sofas.  This is the view from my seat.

Only on Day Two of this goal, I was already finding it difficult and lonely, so I thought I might could treat myself to a floral placemat (not worrying about something matching) the next time I went shopping.  But, then, VOILÁ!  I remembered that a while ago someone gave me some vintage placemats.  I dug them out, having never opened the box, and discovered that they were sort of floral. Really they are more botanical.  And, honestly, it is not that they do not match.  They just match less than the chocolate placemats that coordinate with one of the colors in the chairs.

So, today, I ate at the table using the placemat.
Still lonely though.
At least Amos cannot steal my food when I'm there.

The other goal I started yesterday, though not really about being less of a "sick" person, is that I am trying to drink a medium glass of water before each time that I eat.  Now, with the gastroparesis, I eat between four and six times a day to help with my ssssssssllllllloooooooooowwwww digestion.  Being very much of an anti-water person (ICK), I was not really looking forward to that goal.  But I have persevered.  For two days.

I deserve a medal.

I am drinking the wretched stuff because I read (don't laugh at me, please) that if you drink cold water before you eat it can help with your digestion.  Given that I take five different things to get my bowels to move along, I am all for things to help with digestion.  Like the medical hooey of taking apple cider vinegar every day (in pill form now because drinking the stuff was wretched).  I am sort of to the point that if you told me wearing a purple ribbon around my wrist at night would help with my digestive nausea, I would try it.  Well, I would try because what could it hurt?  I am trying the water, though, because I need to drink more anyway. I depend too much on Gatorade and home brewed, lightly flavored tea (and milk, of course) for my daily liquids.

I dug out this half-pitcher that I got for orange juice (thinking I might start making it from concentrate like my grandmother always did and then forgot that I got the pitcher) and stuck two lemon slices in it before filling it up.  I thought if I could work up to finishing that each day, I'd been on that medal podium for sure.

No, I haven't finished it either day.
Yes, I poured some in Amos' bowl just to pretend that I did.

From where I sit, taking apple cider vinegar pills and drinking cold water before you eat are not all that outlandish.  Because sometimes, when you are chronically ill, you do whatever you need to do to try and make life easier on yourself.  You know, like sit on the post office floor when the line is long.  And sell your grandmother's jewelry (and a million other things) to buy more comfortable (and welcoming) living room furniture.  And say thanks over your pills just as frequently as you do over your meals.  And ... maybe ... put purple ribbon on your shopping list.  Just.  In.  Case.