For someone who is supposed to be intelligent, I am quite stupid...For someone who is supposed to be a talented writer, I am a poor communicator...What is so clear to me is not to others...my intentions are not obvious...I am perceived not as I am and nearly always worse...or are those perceptions who I really am? I shudder to think so...

Psalm 139 has always been a passage that drew me and held me in a way I cannot quite articulate, but Paul's plea at the end has never been more my cry than at this moment.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;

Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

And see if there be any hurtful way in me,

And lead me in the everlasting way."