Perhaps I am not 0 for 3. Perhaps, I am .5 for 3.

Pastor D. came by this evening for more catechism teaching. Of course, the short stint ended up being far later than his bedtime because I ended up talking first before we studied.

Last night was so very long and lonely. I do not like being alone in the hospital. I do not like being in the hospital. I do not like the treatment. I do not like struggling to breathe. I do not like my heart racing well into the 160s. I nebulized this morning, this afternoon, and am doing my third dose right now since Pastor was here. However, I did not cough once tonight, so perhaps the key to asthma is much theology talk!

Tell me, if I want to be at the alter as badly as I do, why do I spend so much time talking about other things?

I believe I mentioned that Pastor had given me the 24-part lesson book on Lutheran Catechism as a help (Peter C. Bender's Lutheran Catechesis: A Guide to Catechesis for the Lutheran Catechumen and Family). I will admit that some of it intimidates me, this Christian culture that is so foreign even to one who has walked with Christ for 31 years. Yet, over and over, I find either the doctrine I am learning is what I already believe or is so perfect in the message I am reading that nothing less than absolute beauty comes to mind.

The best part about the lesson book is that each lesson has a section on the liturgy. So, I actually have been given a 24-part lesson on that which I have come to cherish! Now, strangely enough, one of the liturgical lessons is actually on pastoral care.

I jokingly told Pastor that he should get back to studying pages 247 and 248 since he rather stinks at pastoral care! And then I read him the following bit, primarily because of how it struck a resounding note within me when I studied this lesson:

The catechism and liturgy are central to the pastor's ministry of Christ's Word and sacraments to his people. The catechism and liturgy confess the objective faith that has always been confessed in the church and learned by Christians. They are sturdy and dependable. They are comforting and familiar. They are a source of strength when everything else in a Christian's life may appear to be falling apart. They are free from the personality, idiosyncrasies, and whims of any particular person. The pastor uses the catechism and liturgy with his flock because they clearly preach the promises of God in Christ. Faith clings to the Word!

Amen!

I will say, however, that while I wholeheartedly agree here, I would also proffer the opposite: Luther's teaching does address the personality, the idiosyncrasies, and the whims if all people, more importantly of me!

Such an earthy man was he. Some of his writing makes me chuckle, as if I am sitting there in a pub in Wittenburg right beside him. Sometimes he is elbowing me as he points out the sin we both know I battle. Other times, it as if he has laid a hand on my shoulder in comfort. He entreats. He admonishes. He speaks eloquently. His words are bald. I have laughed and wept and rejoiced. All this while studying doctrine! Ah, such is the power of the Living Word...

This afternoon, Pastor and I, it appears, had the same idea. So when my initial words fell silent, I actually got to teach him tonight! Well, it is not as if he learned a thing from me, but we at least got through the rest of the Ten Commandments.

As I have been studying, I have highlighted passages throughout the Book of Concord. Some have been what I believe are key points to the doctrine. Others are that which are key to me. Explaining to him what I understood and reading the personal ones chased away all thoughts of last night and the nausea and how much my back still hurts. [I am masking much better except when I move a certain way and the I am certain that the wound is tearing again beneath the surface. Foul language abounds at that point. I guess, given time, you can get used to just about anything.] So, probably, this evening was as ho-hum for him as it was for me on Tuesday evening. But...okay...dweeby, I know...tonight was exhilarating for me! It is a good and wondrous thing to contemplate the Living Word.

Just how far does he take this pastoral care thing (even beyond the lack of sleep)? Well, despite the long evening, first he asked if I wanted to pray the Litany again (absolutely! been waiting for that one), then he sang me another hymn. It was written by one who was intimately acquainted with sorrow and suffering and grief. The hymn was special to hear, knowing both that he was singing for me and chose one that I would savor. After starting on page 233 and flipping the pages, (I couldn't remember the page number), I found the hymn again on page 423, When I Suffer Pains and Loss. The stanza I liked best is:

Christians, let us be undaunted.
Every day hurl away that which us once haunted.
Is it true that death defeats us?
No! Rejoice, for Christ's voice then in peace will greet us.

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I have longed to write of what I have learned in the Catechism about the Ten Commandments, but each time I start to do so, I find my words too clumsy, too pale. So, for now I will say this: when people talk about laws, they sometimes distinguish between the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. The spirit of the Commandments has been a familiar sermon topic over the years, but Luther shows how that spirit is ever unfolding until the heart of the commandment, the Truth of the matter, is so great and so perfect that only Christ could fulfill it!

Consider the bits I highlighted from the Fifth Commandment: You shall not murder.

...Gospel of St. Matthew 5:20-26, where Christ Himself explains and sums it up. He says that we must not kill, neither with hands, heart, mouth, sings, gestures, help, nor counsel. (LC, Part 1, 182)

The cause and need of this commandment is that God well knows that the world is evil (Galations 1:4), and that this life has much unhappiness. (LC, Part 1, 183)

It is common practice that no one is willing to suffer at the hands of another. Therefore, God wants to remove the root and source by which the heart is embittered against our neighbor. (LC, Part 1, 187)

In the first place, we much harm no one, either with our hand or by deed. We must not use out tongue to instigate or counsel harm. We must neither use nor agree to use any means or methods by which another person may be injured. Finally, the heart must not be ill disposed toward anyone or wish another person ill in anger and hatred. (LC, Part 188)

Second, a person who does evil to his neighbor is not the only one guilty under this commandment. It also applies to anyone who can do his neighbor good, prevent or resist evil, defend, and save his neighbor so that no bodily harm or hurt happen to him--yet does not do this (James 2:15-16). (LC, Part 1, 189)

Therefore, it is God's ultimate purpose that we let harm come to no one, but show him all good and love. (LC, Part 1, 193)

He would encourage and teach us to do true, noble, and grand works such as gentleness, patience, and, in short, love and kindness to our enemies (Galations 5:22-23). (LC, Part 1, 195)

Yet, lest we become deluded into thinking that our striving to make ourselves holy means anything, Luther finishes with:

But know now that the works of this commandment are the true, holy, and godly works. God rejoiced in them with all the angels. In comparison with these works all human holiness is just stench and filth (Isaiah 64:6). And besides, human holiness deserves nothing but wrath and damnation. (LC, Part 1, 198)

He was speaking of the monks and nuns who had cloistered themselves from society and proclaimed their ascetic life made them holy, that the commandments were no longer necessary. Luther found this separation more for themselves than for God, since it is much easier to have a pleasant life if you have no cross to bear, especially that of patience with your fellow man!

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Ever the teacher, when I was finished with my "lesson," Pastor couldn't help but chime in with one of his zingers. The second table of the Commandments (4-10) are about God protecting His gifts to us, the gifts of God's representatives, of life, of sexuality, of possessions, of our good name, and of contentment.

Think on that one for a while!