Today, my dear friend and her cherubs had their first blessing, as least the first one not one given for a christening.

I asked Bettina if we could venture to church so that I could receive the Lord's Supper, feeling selfish because I knew I would receive this medicine and she would not.  Being the woman she is, Bettina readily agreed.

I chose to take her to a church far nearer to my home for several reasons, none of which I can truly explain just now.  It is the closest I could find to the teaching and confession of my church, though the pastor's sermons posted online seem far more heavy on Law than the proper distinction between Law and Gospel.  And, frankly, I almost burst out laughing because today's sermon was essentially:  God is love...the proverbially empty sermon topic I've heard 1,001 times in the Protestant church.  Yes, God is love.  But that is not all He is, nor is it the breadth and depth of Law and Gospel.

From the first hymn note hanging in the air, I felt within me a great release and was awashed in the comfort I knew was to come before the words had yet been spoken.  By God's mercy I actually knew the first hymn.  By His mercy, the last hymn is one I need to learn.  But I digress.

Being a Baptist, my dear friend is still, gulp, a Protestant.  I long so deeply for her to know, to take in what I have learned.  I often have to stick a figurative sock in my mouth so as not to drive her off like the most annoying Amway consultant ever to walk the neighborhood.  There are many sticking points in Lutheran Doctrine that are in conflict with the Baptist Confession.  But...she is searching for the truth and is open to that being in Lutheranism should the Holy Spirit reveal it to be.  Perhaps not so much as he did I, I have a sneaking suspicion Pastor would call her a closet Lutheran as well.

I know that it will not surprise her when she reads here that I long for her children to be baptized.  I pray for that to happen quickly.  But for it to happen she and her husband would have to take the plunge I have in joining the Lutheran confession.  I had hoped a Lutheran pastor would baptize them knowing that Bettina and G-man are already raising them in faith.  But I have been told that no pastor would do so without taking them under pastoral care and that baptism is, in part, an agreement between the congregation and the baptized to ensure proper instruction follows, not just between the baptized and parent/caregiver.

Oh, how I want her cherubs to have the gift of faith.

I was selfish about asking her to go to church with me because it has been far too long since I have had the Lord's Supper.  But I wanted to go with Bettina not to have company when at a different church so much as to at least have her children join me at the alter for a blessing.  Much to my surprise, my dear friend wanted to have one herself!

I would not have dared suggest it.  To me, it would seem as crazy as my longing for a crucifix like the one I saw hanging on Pastor's wall.  After all, I struggle to explain what a blessing means to me.  Silly Myrtle, the Spirit had already moved in her.

Before the service, I had to seek out the Pastor to let him know that I was a communicant member of a Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod church so that I could have the Lord's Supper this morning.  With much hemming and hawing and nervously squeezing of E's hand, I got out the purpose of my popping into his office just as he appeared to be about to put on his vestments.  I also told him about Bettina's children possibly coming up for a blessing because Pastor gives blessings to children using the words "baptismal grace."  I knew it was important that this pastor understand neither child had been baptized, so I fumbled my way through that explanation as well.  He thanked me for that knowledge and welcomed us all to join him at the alter.

I have to admit that as deeply as I longed for the body and blood of Christ upon my lips this morning, I longed to share that with my dear friend and was sorrowed that she would remain on the outside of the closed communion.  Having her and her cherubs receive a blessing was almost, not quite but almost, as good.  I watched the pastor, whom I do not know, bless each of them, perhaps focused more on the joy of that moment rather than properly paying attention to the joy of my own.


Bettina told me, this afternoon, that she had a hard time not becoming teary-eyed before she went up at the mere thought of a pastor giving her a blessing.

Oh, my dear Bettina, even Baptist preachers ought to give blessings to those beneath their care.  Would that yours would suddenly understand what a gift it is to trace the cross upon a parishioner's forehead, reminding her all that she has received, while calling upon God to look upon her in favor.


The hymn I should learn?

Jesus, I Will Ponder Now


Jesus, I will ponder now
On Your holy Passion;
With Your Spirit me endow
For such meditation.
Grant that I in love and faith
May the image cherish
Of Your suffering, pain, and death
That I may not perish.

Make me see Your great distress,
Anguish, and affliction,
Bonds and stripes and wretchedness
And Your crucifixion;
Make me see how scourge and rod,
Spear and nails did wound You,
How You died for those, O God,
Who with thorns had crowned You.

Yet, O Lord, not thus alone
Make me see Your Passion;
But its cause to me make known
And its termination.
Ah! I also and my sin
Wrought Your deep affliction;
This indeed the cause has been
Of Your crucifixion.

Grant that I Your passion view

With repentant grieving.

Let me not bring shame to You

By unholy living.

How could I refuse to shun

Ev'ry sinful pleasure

Since for me God's only Son

Suffered without measure?

If my sins give me alarm
And my conscience grieve me,
Let Your cross my fear disarm,
Peace and pardon give me.

Help me see forgiveness won
By Your holy Passion;
If for me He slays His Son,
God must have compassion!

Graciously my faith renew,
Help me bear my crosses,
Learning humbleness from You,
Peace mid pain and losses.
May I give You love for love!
Hear me, O my Savior,
That I may in heav'n above
Sing Your praise forever. (LSB 440)

God's mercy today was in discovering this hymn.  His mercy was also in Bettina offering to listen to difficult things, to things that make her hurt for me, so that I wouldn't have to remain silent.  And His mercy was in her using my gizmo to record her singing the Lord's Prayer as a gift for me.

For me.

It was with glad heart that I gave her my second copy of the Treasury of Daily Prayer that I keep in my office and the copy of Luther's Small Catechism I received just a while ago.  Riches she did not have.  Riches that are for her as well as for me....


Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!