Good things and bad things...

I would be lost without Amos.  No matter how miserable I am, Amos' snoring makes me smile, if not outright laugh.  He is my ever constant companion, even peaking up over the side of the tub whilst I am showering.  He has never complained about any of my health issues or how restricted his life is at times.  We are two of a kind, for I am not sure if he likes curling up on me for a nap more than I like for him to curl up on me for a nap.  And I am daily thankful to my Creator for creating such a fluff ball puppy dog (albeit a bit of an overgrown beast for his breed), who has more affection in him than even the loneliest heart on earth could desire, and then sent him my way.

I love Sandra's mind.  She has the bestest thoughts for me, not the least of which was ice packs for my headaches turned migraines. She also told me about a place where I could get an $11 haircut to clean up the continued whacking I have done in an effort to lighten the weight of my hair and yet still have something left on my head.  My follicle burden is currently ever so much lighter, without sacrificing any more length, since I am now sporting a crop full of layers with a distinct lack of the former crookedness and choppiness.  And it is not just for me her fine mind works...check out this awesome chore system she created for her son!

Dysautonomia is the most wretched, most vile, most difficult part of my existence.  I have really only begun to scratch the surface of this disease, this condition that has nothing but a distressing, discouraging, and dismal future ahead for me.  I did find the most wonderful--to me--blog by a woman battling dysautonomia.  It is brief and stopped short, with the most heart-wrenching last post...probably because, as you can see, how devastating the disease had become to her life.  I believe her most creatively titled blog is a rather interesting glimpse into the wretched state of life with dysautonomia.  And reading through it made me feel slightly less alone, especially the post on migraines.

I need to strive for more Myrtle victories.  For example, I finally managed to soap the drawers in the built-in cabinets of the servants' storage closet and the bathroom.  This made opening the 92-year-old drawers much, much, much easier.  [Freshly folded towels add a bit something to the visual effect of the closet, don't you think?] I also finally remembered to add rubber "feet" (oh, the things I have had tucked away in my toolbox for ages on end) to the bottom of my small vintage Dr Pepper tray I keep on the kitchen counter so that stray water will no longer make the bottom rust and leave a pesky ring on the counter top.  And accomplishing something, anything, makes for a better day or week for me, when so much of my time is spent uselessly huddled in the GREEN chair simply trying to make it to the next moment.

My amazing home keeps getting better.  Having another visitor helped me learn a couple more things about it.  First, you can be creative in making space for others.  In the bathroom, since there is no vanity with space for people to put their things while visiting, I cleared out the top drawer of the built-in storage for my guest.  This way, she did not have to cart all her getting-ready things back and forth from her room each day. In doing so, I rearranged my own stuff so that when people are not there, I can have all my medications quick-at-hand in that drawer, but can easily move them to the one below when someone visits.  [There is far more storage in the bathroom than a single person--even one with six diseases--can possibly use.] I also learned that my stove is truly a marvel.  An original ad for it can be found here.  Can you believe that in 1969, you could buy a self cleaning oven that also had a built-in meat thermometer tied to a timer, a rotating roasting spit, and a griddle?  My visitor helped me figure out that the front burner was not broken, but rather that my understanding of how to use the four features of it was broken. The sensi-temp burner can be used as a 4", 6", or 8" burner or as a base for a griddle.  [I have ALWAYS longed for a griddle.]  I found the instruction pamphlet for the burner, as well as the oven instruction booklet, and a separate double roasting pan sized for each oven.  All of these special parts to the stove were in their original packing, having never been used! I find myself continually blessed by the added features of this home that were rather inexplicably not included in the sale listing. And I marvel at how much of a sanctuary it has become to me.

Fort Wayne has a place worth taking visitors! You can read about the botanical gardens, located in the heart of downtown, just a hop, skip, and a jump from my home, here.  With 25,000 square feet of indoor gardens, this place is a wonder of cactus, tropical, and garden plants from all over the world. They have complimentary wheelchairs for those unable to traverse the long walk, an altogether too tempting gift shop and eatery, a research library, several interactive educational areas for children, and wonderful outdoor gardens for when the weather is warmer.  I found this place to be equally impressive as the National Botanical Gardens in Washington, DC, when you consider what a small city Fort Wayne is.  And the wonder of this spate of nature is truly an oasis of beauty and peace to me.

The longer I look the greater the beauty I see in Fred and Ethel.  It is strange to me, to think that I have only known them for a brief time and have yet to meet.  I kept coming back to this flower again and again, because there were so many fantastic features in it.  I love variegated leaves and finely veined petals.  The center stack is most wondrous, even as it is such a strong contrast to such delicate outer-structure of the flower. And the best part is that the whole of the flower, as is that of a friendship with Fred and Ethel, is even richer and fuller than all the individual features. 

The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa the bad things don’t always spoil the good things or make them unimportant." ~The Doctor, "The Doctor and Vincent," Doctor Who

Yes, last night was a misery.  My future truly does look grim.  And another migraine is lurking just on the edges of my senses.  The strain of the visiting puppy trauma was hard on me, primarily because of how very much it reminded me of the pit bull attack.  I did not nap at all.  And I really do not like being so ill in front of others as much as I do crave some company.  I am oft still lost and confused, even in spiritual matters. I am fairly sure I have nerve damage in my foot. And I am frightened over my impending dire financial state.  But my Good Shepherd has provided me a new-to-me, rather fantastic oven range, a new bed with beautiful new sheets, new friends who have heaped kindness and mercy upon me, a newish puppy who loves me rather fiercely, someone to help me straighten out some things in my past and learn to face my difficult future, the best, most kind, unbelievably encouraging doctor who listens to me and is working very hard to figure out a way for a best case scenario in a complicated, compromised, rather ill body, and a home that is actually a palace to me.


I am Yours, Lord.  Save me!