No condemnation...

"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1.)  Shudder.  I have avoided it.  I have agonized over it.  I have despaired of it.

Recently, during the dinner with Marie and Paul, this verse came up. While talking about it, about how I just do not understand it because I have often felt condemned by other Christians for one reason or another, have felt the weight of judgment on faith and on "godly living."  Both of them looked a tad bit puzzled and then, talking over each other, explained that the condemnation was not that of others but eternal condemnation, or rather eternal death.

In that moment, I was immensely relieved.

And I felt incredibly stupid.

And I was full of doubt and of hope.

What they said made far, far more sense than how I have always thought and felt about that verse.  I mean, after all Paul himself said, "Let a man regard us in this manner, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. In this case, moreover, it is required of stewards that one be found trustworthy. But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself. For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord. Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts; and then each man’s praise will come to him from God" (1 Corinthians 4:1-5). 

I finished the first post on emotions and sexual abuse survivors.  And I wonder just how much of reading and seeing and thinking that the condemnation Paul said that we did not have in Christ meant judgement by others is tied to the pressure of the errant theology of works righteousness and the constant self-examiniation with regard to maintaining a "right relationship" with God, with your behavior and thoughts and feelings and how much is tied to the condemnation I have felt since I was a young girl ... both before and after others knew my secret.

Today, I slept for ten hours after dropping Wynne off at the airport this morning.  I had awoken early to cook us both pumpkin pancakes and promptly became rather ill after eating them.  I believe both the illness and the fatigue of being so much more up and about during a time when I have company kept me asleep all but a few minutes of those 10 hours.  Especially, since I have not seen Wynne in years, I did not nap once and dragged myself out of been too early each day, despite staying up late talking and talking and talking each night.

I am still exhausted, but I was thinking about the conversation about Romans 8:1 that I have been holding close, a dear and precious thought I want to believe.

Last night, Marie and Paul had Wynne and I over for dinner.  Oh, my, what food Marie cooks!  We had butternut squash and goat cheese ravioli with brown butter hazelnut and sage sauce, roasted apples, and roasted broccoli.  Try not to be jealous.

Having spent many hours at the botanical gardens, I was rather tired when we got there.  I had also been away from Amos all day, so I had asked if I could bring him with us.  Once we arrived, I plunked myself down on the couch, snuck in a few cuddles with my puppy dog, and just waited to be called to the table.  I did not worry what Paul and Marie would think, because I knew it would be okay.

While we were eating, we had a rowdy and raucous conversation, with much laughter and twitting on all sides.  The meal was incredible, but I savored the company more. I savored how safe and free I felt. I savored being welcomed and wanted.  I savored being valued and respected.  I savored the opportunity to be of help and a resource for a bit of problem-solving.  Frankly, the evening was glorious and I was so incredibly thankful to be able to share it with my friend Wynne.

And Amos.

"For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.

"I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.

"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so, and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

"However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him. If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you." (Romans 7:14-8:11, emphasis mine).

Context.  

In context, reading Romans 8:1 as addressing spiritual, not earthly condemnation makes perfect sense and fits with Christ crucified for me.  There is forgiveness and freedom in that. And, I believe, I make sense to my friends who look at me considering the context of my life.  I am not just one thing and that one thing does not color and inform how they see everything else about me.  There is forgiveness and freedom in that.

It is amazing to me what I am learning about context.  Context of the Living Word.  Context of the whys and wherefores of me.


Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!