Thursday, September 26, 2013

Pestering, priming, two thoughts, and gifts received...

Sometimes ... okay often ... I like to mess with Amos whilst he is sleeping.  You see, when I mess with him when all he wants to do is be asleep, Amos groans this very pitiful, breathy protest.  I adore it almost as much as his snores.  This is a sleepy Amos whom I just awoke to hear that lovely groan.

He groans in protest, looks at me, and flops back down.  This look is also adorable to me.

Today, Amos guarded me as I primed the doorframe, threshold, and the door itself.  When I started painting the door, it struck me how old it looked.  After all that effort, after all that scraping and sanding and sanding and scraping, the door looks old, worn, and uneven.  It looks just like itself.  And old door.

I was rather surprised at just how much primer I had to use in order to paint it.  Now, of course, I am worried that in trying to save money and buying only a quart of GREEN paint, I will not have enough for two coats on both sides.  I could, of course, paint only the front.  Or I could paint two coats on the front and one on the back.  Maybe being primed, it will not soak up paint the way that it soaked up primer.

Still, despite my sudden onslaught of paint coverage worry, I was happy to see the door looking ever so much more likes a door and ever so much more less like a neighborhood eyesore.

When I was working, one of the neighborhood old biddies (the women who inform me about my yard and how it was and such, stopped by to warn me that if I do not pull down my hummingbird feeders the one hummingbird who keeps visiting me might get trapped here too late and not make the pilgrimage south that will save his life.  Horrified, I took them down as soon as the sun set.  I had to wait because the bees, rather frustrated with the heat damaged Rose of Sharon buds not opening for them, have been micro swarming around the hummingbird feeders trying rather desperately trying to squeeze past the bee guards on the red plastic flower stems.

I very much long to write about two thoughts from today, but I am exhausted.  In part, I am exhausted from priming, which took me about an hour longer than I thought it would.  In part, I am exhausted over battling some thoughts ... and fears ... in my head.

The first thought is about Facebook, which I left more than two months ago and hope never to go back. It is the words someone spoke for me when I was struggling to talk about it:  Facebook is a community that is actually not a community.

The second thought is how Psalms 18 and 143 mirror the doctrine of Article VIII of the Formula Solid Declaration, if you consider that Christ prays them both.

The latter thought struck me as my pastor was reading aloud Psalm 143.  In that moment, I almost laughed in awe and wonder and delight merely because I only had the thought I had because I was hearing the Psalm, rather than reading it.  My pastor read in such a way that a pattern leapt into my mind and called to mind the words and Word of Psalm 18.  I have read those many a time myself, but hearing is how another facet of the Psalter was illumined.  The Holy Spirit at work in the speaking of the Living Word.  

In the world of my making, someone would read that, go read both psalms and the article, and then email/text/call me to talk about it.  In the real world, I hope to try and write it out for my online memory tomorrow, having taken a few notes to help my broken rememberer hold on to today's thought.

In the meanwhile, I am savoring that I was forgiven, healed, and sustained today through the service of the Word and the service of the Sacrament.  Despite my fears and worries, despite my spiritual angst over certain questions, my Good Shepherd sent an undershepherd to bring me His body and blood for my good.  He did so because faith is not about me; it is about Christ crucified for me.

Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief!

1 comment:

Caryl said...

Poor Amos!
ps - the door looks great so far :-)