Repentance Homework (Matthew 18)...

[Caveat:  This whole chapter scares and confuses me.  SIGH.]

Well, for one, there is a whole lot of ... stuff ... in this chapter:  rank, stumbling blocks, the 99,  discipline, prayer, and forgiveness.  I do think that it is a perfect example of how I do not know how to read the New Testament.  For this sounds a lot like instructions for living a good Christian life and practically the whole blooming chapter is in red (is Jesus speaking)!  Note that:  Flashing Lights:  Jesus, the new Moses!

Sometimes, when I read stuff like the first shall be last (Mathew 20:16) and Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (verse 4), I think of Isaiah 55:8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.  By that I mean, we really do not think or see or feel or experience life the way that God does.  Not even the way that God-in-the-flesh did/does.  So any comparisons to Him, all of that WWJD stuff, is really footle, or foolish twaddle in value.  But I also think that thinking such does not mean we should not strive to live differently.  Not strive after the new Adam even as we contend with the old Adam.  And, too, this makes me think again how some of the questions the disciples asked reveal their own wrestling with the flesh.  I get, though, that longing to understand something which you do not.

Now, verses 7-10, are really distressing.  Frankly, this is because the part of me that needs to be cut off is my head!  You can live without an eye or a hand, but you cannot live without a head.  Words such as found in this passage seem so Life Application-y, so works righteousness, and therefore so utterly defeating.  Daily I sin.  There is only so much of me I could cut off.

But then you get to verses 12-14, which seem not to be so much about going after a straying sheep (which makes me ask, but who then is tending to all those obedient sheep ... not that sheep are ever really obedient), but back to the very first part of Matthew 18 and the idea of children mattering as much as any learned scholar of the doctrine (or adult for that matter).  It is as if verse 14 is a resounding DO NOT DISMISS THE CHILD WHO HUNGERS OR THIRSTS.  Would then, being so very child like in my fears and confusion, not be so terrible after all ... at least from God's perspective?

I suppose, really, what I am also say is that going from verses 1-14 it seems like there is a bit of wandering when really it might have been a straight path being delineated.

Verses 15 -18.  Man, evangelical and Lutherans alike are quick to point out how we are supposed to be calling out one another's sin and doing so publicly is just fine. Only, how does that fit with what Matthew scribed earlier in chapter 7, verses 3-5: Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.  For that matter, how does the idea of judging sin fit with 1 Corinthians 4:1-5:

Let a man regard us in this manner, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. In this case, moreover, it is required of stewards that one be found trustworthy. But to me it is a very small thing that I may be examined by you, or by any human court; in fact, I do not even examine myself. For I am conscious of nothing against myself, yet I am not by this acquitted; but the one who examines me is the Lord. Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts; and then each man’s praise will come to him from God.

See, when I read something as prescriptive or directive or application-ish, I find myself going around in circles, asking how that one bit fits with other bits I know.  And, in the end, the focus is on me and what I do rather than on Jesus and what He has done and does and will do.  But how can you not think how-to-live thoughts when you are reading something like Matthew chapter 18?

As for verse 18, I absolutely do not understand which is a good thing:  binding or loosing.  SIGH.

But, moving on, verses 19-20:  “Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”  It seems to me that this is confusing because just because folk agree in prayer about something doesn't mean that that something will take place.  Otherwise, we'd have hearings taking place in hospitals all over the planet.  Or is it that Jesus is speaking to the disciples specifically and all Christians???

Then, there is the rather terrifying final passage, verses 23-35.  You know, you read about how if you do not forgive others, if you treat them horribly, then God will do the same to you.  The measuring stick you use against others will be used against you.  SHUDDER.

I was taught (and most likely blogged about said teaching) that this is really showing folk that if they choose to live by the Law, all of its perfection and severity will be applied to them, not just part.  Really, if you consider the Law, it is terrifying.  At least, it is if you look at it whilst being honest with yourself.  How can anyone keep even one single letter of the Law?  Set aside original sin, set aside the fact that it is not possible for us to not sin, who in the world could say that 100 percent of the time he or she was 100 percent fulfilling every single mote of the Law?  Mother Theresa, for all her mercy and charity, for certain, was not merciful and charitable every minute of her entire life.  Children never are.  Especially those hungry babies.  

[As a baby, I was so frenetic about nursing that I gulped my meal and then promptly threw it up, necessitating my mother having to essentially double nurse, making her exhausted all of the time.  A sinner right from the start.]

So, is this final segment of the chapter a look back at what we are being freed from in the Gospel or is  it, along with most everything else in the chapter, more DOs that we need to add to our list of what constitutes a pious (to use a Lutheran word I still do not understand) life?

And, seriously, here is another chapter that seems as far from repentance as one could possibly be ... or ... is it that this chapter is full of all the things we need to be repentant of??  Pride?  Selfishness?  Judgment?  

Is repentance tied to forgiveness?  

Is forgiveness tied to repentance?  

Is one evidence of the other?  Fruit of the other?  Proof of the other?

Clearly, I am in need of instruction on how these four chapters help one understand repentance.  Clearly, too, my pastor has a very large mountain to climb when it comes to this bit of instruction for this particular sheep.

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!