What will come will come...

Tomorrow I pick up the last bottle of the erythromycin solution that Target was able to find.  It is really a half-bottle, seven days' worth.  Then, Target will transfer the renewed prescription back to CVS and I will pick up their two three-quarters bottles.  Twenty-seven days.

When I was talking about this with Marie, tonight, I was bewailing my misery about this upcoming return to constant innards misery.  With each dose left that I take, I try really, really, really hard not to think about what's coming.  What I was bewailing, in part, was my worry that I will no longer be able to eat all the tasty things I have learned to make.  However, we talked about how, back when I was writhing all the time, I was not eating primarily fresh and homemade foods.  Maybe that will make a slight difference.  Maybe.  Maybe not.

I have been wondering if there is any way to take just the erythromycin part somehow.  The pessimist part of me says that I would have already heard so from my GP or found the treatment plan online.  The other classes of prokynetic drugs have some serious side effects, such as fatal arrhythmia and permanent neurological damage, such as tardive dyskinesia.  The whole situation seems rather bleak to me and I am struggling to look at it any other way.

Again, I fail ... utterly ... at being the suffering saint.

Marie has training again tomorrow, but next Friday she'll need to do some freezer cooking again.  And I will get a chance to cook up a new recipe with her.  I have been hankering, like crazy, to find a way to make beef schwarma.  However, I have a recipe for carne asada tacos that just might make it to the menu.  The one I want to try is this Asian flavored skirt steak.  But I keep getting confused between skirt steaks and flank steak, even though I found a great tutorial blog post about the differences in the cuts of beef.  Whatever recipe I dare to try, I am looking forward to cooking with Marie again.

This is another psalm I learned from the African praise songs:

Hear my cry, O God;
Give heed to my prayer.
From the end of the earth I call to Thee, when my heart is faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For Thou hast been a refuge for me,
A tower of strength against the enemy.
Let me dwell in Thy tent forever;
Let me take refuge in the shelter of Thy wings.

For Thou hast heard my vows, O God;
Thou hast given me the inheritance of those who fear Thy name.
Thou wilt prolong the king's life;
His years will be as many generations.
He will abide before God forever;
Appoint lovingkindness and truth, that they may preserve him.
So I will sing praise to Thy name forever,
That I may pay my vows day by day.

~Psalm 61 (NASB 1977)

If I close my eyes, I can hear the voices of the Liberians singing these Words of God to me.  I cannot remember. I cannot visualize, the sights, the sounds, the smells.  I cannot go back there in my mind.  But the Word remains in my ears.


I am Yours, Lord.  Save me!