SIGH...

I cannot believe that it has been more than two weeks since I wrote here.  Missing days bothers me so very much.  But, then again, most days are the same for me, in just different shades.

I am not doing very well handling the increased pain and the ever present pain.  I have been working on stretching my hamstrings for about three weeks now, since I read that can help with lower back pain.  Only stretching hurts more than even the arthritis.  Not as much as the trigeminal nerve pain, but still so very painful that I only stretch for a few minutes at a time.  Seconds on each leg.  Repeat.  Try for one more.  Stop.  Weep in frustration.  I can straighten my legs more, but I am not sure it helps the arthritis in my back or the flare of pain I am having.  SIGH.

I gave up and started taking ibuprofen, once I realized that it helps.  I'm not supposed to take ibuprofen because I'm on Celebrex.  But Tylenol, Aleve, and Aspirin didn't help at all.  I'm also not supposed to take ibuprofen because of the bleeding lesions in my stomach.  But I did learn that the Prilosec helps protect my stomach from ulcers so ... I choose less pain.  The ibuprofen makes life bearable.  SIGH.

That and heat.  I've become nearly inseparable from my heating pads (one upstairs and one downstairs).  I don't know why my hip has started hurting, but it has. My right one.  So, I have the heating pad on that most of the time.  SIGH.

For months, I have struggled with having dysphagia as a new normal.  It has felled me in a way I cannot really describe.  I mean, I think that daily battling nausea has made me even more desirous of eating tasty food when I am not nauseous.  And when I have swallowing problems when I am trying to eat, I want to scream in frustration.  A week or so ago, I had just started enjoying Spicy Dr Pepper Pulled pork tacos and it struck.  I couldn't swallow my second bite.  I spent 30 minutes trying to finish that swallow.  Then I don't know how long trying to swallow my fear over what happened.  Truth be told, I haven't finished that swallow yet.  SIGH.