Another plan...

Last Saturday, Becky and her whole family came to visit through Thursday.  It was a simply glorious time for me.  Some of Gary's family now lives in Fort Wayne, so they split their time between family and me.  This enabled me to get some rest in between visiting, which made the visit all the better.

Saturday, they arrived earlier than expected, so it was like a bonus day for me.  I slept Sunday.  We visited Monday and Tuesday.  I slept Wednesday.  And they left Thursday.  I also had mornings and evenings with them, so my share of the Kulp visit was extended.

I really only did simple cooking, and I messed up the menu since I forgot to make a written plan.  But they are very forgiving and gracious and are willing to go with the flow when need be.  I did try to make the visit as restful as possible by cooking when I could and doing the dishes primarily myself.  I dare say my scrambled eggs made the mornings better.  Well, especially that was true on the morning that we had breakfast tacos.

I would prefer breakfast tacos every morning!

Becky had brought a fair amount of tasty snacks for her family, along with some delicious chocolate. Not having tasty snacks in my budget, I am afraid I lost my head and begged for some of each of them.  Well ... LOTS of each of them.  And I flat out asked for all of the raspberry cream chocolates once I had one.  They reminded me so strongly of a tasty chocolate that I have not been able to find for eons.  Becky, being pretty much the kindest person I've ever met, gladly gave me the bag of chocolates.  And, at the end of the visit, it didn't take much arm twisting for her to also give me the remaining chocolate-covered pretzels.  Whoever invented such a wicked chocolate idea was a genius!  The salt with the chocolate was simply divine.

The thing is that I am not so good with sharing tasty stuff.  In fact, I stink at it.  So, it was like heaping coals of fire upon my head with all of her sharing.  Still, my greedy, gluttonous self happily grabbed ahold of all that she gave me, and I have been indulging ever since they left!  Well, except for the raspberry cream chocolates.  Those are almost too precious to eat!  Of course, I'm certain I'll get over that soon enough.  For now, they are in a mason jar so that they will stay fresh.  Mmmmm!

Amos has been positively morose ever since they left.  He was so very happy to have everyone in the house, especially since three of the visitors were really, really generous about playing fetch with him. His nervousness abated almost instantaneously, and he took a real shine to Gary.  At night, since we went up to bed last, Amos had to stop and check on his visitors, stopping to listen and to sniff at each door.  He did the same both going down to and then coming back up from breakfast.  And since Josh slept with his door open, Amos had to spend extra time with him before heading back to his own bed.

He keeps checking the spare bedrooms and the solarium upstairs for his missing visitors.
Poor puppy dog!

It might have been harder on me with them leaving, but two weeks from yesterday, Becky will be back for one of her week-long visits.  Of course, I have to endure the spinal tap whilst she is here, but other than that we will have lots of tasty food and watch lots of engaging movies and shows and will play lots of enjoyable games (which hopefully I will win)!

I have been sleeping lots since they left.
However, I have also been sleep lots before they came.
"Nap" is now my middle name.

Today, I had another terrible, terrible Pudendal Neuralgia flare.  Trigeminal Neuralgia flares hurt worse, but they are so very brief in comparison.  Plus, for me, the Pudendal Neuralgia flares bring an onslaught of flashback and shame.  Each time it happens, I think that it will be the one that breaks me, that causes me to give up on this life of mine.  For me, there really are no words sufficient to describe both the pain and the shame.  It is a burden I feel is too great to bear.  And yet I must if I am to stay here in this life.

I tried to busy myself afterwards to keep from thinking of the trauma that comes with enduring such.  I stripped the bed and took care of my laundry.  I gave Amos a foot treatment.  I vacuumed the first floor.  I cleaned the bathroom.  I watered the pots on the porches and out in the haven.  I re-filled both fountains and all four birdbaths with water.  I brewed tea.  I ordered my medications from the mail-order pharmacy.  I placed this quarter's order from OTC Essentials, a program through my Medicare insurance company (cotton balls, q-tips, lotion, triple antibiotic, vapor rub, epsom salt, and Biotene mouth spray).  And I number-crunched .... and crunched and crunched and crunched. 

The latter was, in part, working out how to allocate what I call "extra" money.  A friend and her husband have shared their money with me a few times, which I have all put toward medical.  However, I have not known what to do with extra money with regard to the budgeting and reconciliations that I have been doing.  For example, I got a tip for making a referral, a $100 one.  How do I allocate that money?

I mean, I would love to just spend it.  I could easily spend it.  However, I want to be able to follow a plan for extra money the way that I have a plan for my disability money (my budget).  When I have gotten medical survey money, I have just spent it on whatever I wanted.  That sounds good, but it isn't.  Being so very ... tight ... means that I need a plan for how to spend everything not just the monthly distribution from Social Security.

I kept trying to reach the financial advisor who has been helping me, but we've been ships passing through the night.  I wanted her to tell me what to do.  I wanted anyone to tell me what to do.  Silly that extra money could be so stressful.  Welcome as it is, the money is still stressful, because I am trying to very hard to find a way to live on what is really not enough.  When I have extra money, I do not know how to account for it in my budget or how to spend it.

I did finally come up with my PLAN:

Medical     40%
Dental       20%
Savings     25%
Treats        15%


Medical:  Whilst I am now budgeting medical directly out of my monthly stipend instead of just winging it, I still am not covering all of my medical expenses.  I have earmarked $250 to cover doctors, prescriptions, and prescribed OTC items.  I've yet to have a reliable way to pay for blood work, labs, and x-rays/scans.  Hence, the 40% to medical.

Dental:  I worked out the automatic savings amount that I need to pay for all my dental expenses, $67 a month.  Right now, I am only saving $40 a month, because that is simply all I could do this year.  So, by the end of 2018, my dental savings account will al ready be low.  I also have that pesky 4th cavity which needed filling.

Savings:  I do not have a savings account that is not already earmarked for something.  I think it would be good if I started a savings account that is full of money that could be spend any which way but loose.

Treats:  A new friend sent me a very generous check in the spring with which to treat myself.  I have been trying to stretch the money as far as possible.  I have also added a bit of money here and there, because I like the idea of one guilt-free treat, such as a grilled bacon and artichoke heart sub, a month.  Mmmmm!  My spending has to be so very utilitarian that I was glad to hear the financial advisor say that I need to be spending more on myself.

Now that I have a plan, I will deposit the cash and then transfer it to the accounts listen above.  I am so very relieved to have a plan, to have a process to allocate (Divvy up) extra monies.  I added a spreadsheet to my number crunching.  When I was finished, I was so relieved that I ended up having another nap.

Plans are a true blessing for me.  They help create boundaries and relive uncertainty.  I am so very blessed to have friends who understand the need for plans in my life and to help me create them.