Something done...

Amos is my shadow, inside or out.  I don't blame him.  I want him with me as much as he wants to be with me.  But, when in the Great Outdoors, his preference is to be atop my shoulders, protecting him from all the fearsome things about.  However, it is most difficult to weed and to water with a Fluffernutter on my shoulders.

His most favorite place in the yard, now, is the haven.  And, in the haven, he adores surveying the world from atop the bench.  Even if all he is surveying is his sweaty, shaky puppy momma.

I have been really struggling with spotting the spot on my tooth ... not just the spot.  It is everything that has gone to pot on my body since being diagnosed with Sjögren's.

Crap eyes.
Crap kidneys.
Crap lungs.
Crap joints.
Crap teeth.

It's the failings of my body.
It's the constant strain of trying to figure out how to pay for meds.
It's the struggle to take meds all the day long.
It's the enduring of even more illness in side effects in the oft futile hopes for help.
It's the illness.
It's the never-ending exhaustion.
It's the loneliness.
It's the isolation.
It's the uncertainty.
It's everything.
And nothing.

So, I strove to get some things done in the yard today.  I weeded all of my beds, though most were nearly clear.  I had some more of the baby Rose of Sharons to pluck and I had the whole shade bed on the far side of the house to weed, just a few inches away from a bed that is nearly all weeds.  Thankfully, most of the weeds were ones that I could pull rather than dig.

When I finished, I napped for a couple of hours.  Most days, I nap twice, between 2-3 hours each time.  If I try to stay awake, I oft fall asleep sitting up!

After my nap, I watered and watered and watered.  Every summer, we have a mini-drought, which has clearly started.  The raised beds, the bushes, the ornamental trees, the pots, the baskets.  And I tended to the bird baths and the fountains.  Water, water everywhere.

It was good to get something done, to be outside of my body for a while.