Catching up again...

Oh, my!  I didn't even hit publish on last Tuesday's post and then have just been ... existing since then.

The rheumatology visit was overwhelming.  Everything is these days.  SIGH.  It was overwhelming because she wants to switch me to DMARDs (disease-modifying drugs), because my pain response to the prednisone I've been on for my lungs has shown that my joint pain is inflammatory and not degenerative in nature.  And, according to her, I cannot just remain on prednisone.

Why not?

The problem is that she needs to know what the neurologist is going to do and what medication the pulmonologist is going to transition me to after the prednisone, assuming she doesn't just keep me on it.  Really, I should be seeing the pulmonologist first and the neurologist after, but that is not the way my appointments are this week.

I left her office and sat in the parking lot awash in my tearless weeping.  I felt (and still feel) so very alone and most desperately wish that I had someone with whom to walk this journey.  A husband.  A roommate.  Someone in my family.  Someone who would take the pamphlets on DMARDs that I came come with out of my hand and read them with me.  Someone to go over the prods and cons of each drug and help me price-compare them.  Instead, I am the only one to try and figure out if I want to try Methotrexate, Leflunomide, Hydroxychloroquine, or Sulfasalazine first.  Of course, all that research and deciding could be made moot by the lung treatment is chosen.

I want someone with whom I could go to all of these doctor appointments.  Someone to keep me company.  Someone to listen to all the information pouring in my ears.  Someone to remember what symptoms and updates I need to share with the specialist.  Someone to help me review treatment options.

But it is just me.
SIGH.

Then, Amos had another massive allergic reaction to a flea bite the way that he did in the fall of 2016.  Then, I switched to the much more expensive but comprehensive heart worm/flea medication.  After a year, I just couldn't keep up with the cost of the drug, so I went to the one that is a third of the cost.  Here we are, nine months into that change, and somehow Amos got another flea bite.  Amos who is as much of a hermit as I.

Off to the vet to learn that, he simply cannot be on the cheap medication.  After all, the visit, treatment, and flea medication to get us to the first frost wiped out most of the savings of the cheaper medication.  And Amos has been absolutely, utterly miserable.  

As much as I have been counting weighing every penny I spend, trying to make the most economical choices (except when it come to having Blue Bell in my life), I opted for the immediate treatment ($13 more) than the pills that he would have to take over two weeks.  This way, in just a few hours, his misery would start to abate.

I came home and crunched numbers.  That's what I do ALL THE BLOODY TIME now.  I get hit with another financial sucker punch and, after I pick myself up off the floor, I try to figure out a way to make it happen.  The problem this time is that my pie simply cannot be slivered any further.  I know what I need to do, but I do not know how to do it.

I did find a cheaper option for paying for the Trifexis that my beloved Fluffernutter needs: Chewy.com.  I know that there is all this admonition against mail order drugs on both human and animal fronts, but I need to do this.  If I order the pills online, I will save $95 over the year.  I cannot pass up such savings.  I simply do not have the money.

I was talking about the option with my sister, when I found out that she also uses Trifexis on both of her puppy dogs.  She, too, tried to use the cheaper option, but the heat and fleas in Dallas are too great.  So, I set up an account for her, entered her dogs' information, entered her vet information, and set up an auto-shipment order.  [You get a regular discount with auto-ship and a one-time discount with your first order.]  In just two days, the prescription had been verified by Chewy.com and the pills!  At least that was some good news.  My sister is saving over $90 on her first order and well over $300 on the year.  More good news.

And then there has been a whole lot more exhaustion.

I did learn, Sunday, that I have royally messed up my meds for quite a while.  Both my thyroid medication and one of my blood pressure medications are small, round, pink pills.  It turns out that I mistakenly poured blood pressure medication into my thyroid bottle when I was filling it some time ago.  So, I've had a third dose of that medication and none of the thyroid medication.  I am hoping that that was the reason for the utter inability to stay awake.  And some of the pre-syncope.  And a whole lot of the wretchedness that I have been feeling.

I believe that it took me until this weekend to finish off all the extra medication in my body and am hoping that things will turn better soon.  After all, these past two days, I have only had a single nap instead of three.  That's rather remarkable.  However, tonight has been a most terrible instance of constant pre-syncope every darn time I try to get up off the sofa.  I'm just a wreck.    Still, I'm hoping things might be better ... eventually ... with having thyroid pills in the thyroid bottle.

This week is going to be brutal.

I have training on Monday, if I can make it.  I have the neurologist on Tuesday.  I have the dentist on Wednesday.  And I have the pulmonologist (and the next round of pulmonary function testing) on Thursday.  I shall be half dead by Friday, with all that extra dressing and driving and walking and thinking (and hoping and being overwhelmed).  Plus, I have managed to get to the church five weeks in a row.  I would still like to keep that trend up, if at all possible.  Like I said, this week will be brutal.

SIGH.