Monday, September 10, 2018

Snoozing life away...

My doctor did an assessment for narcolepsy last month.  I just don't think that I have that.  And neither does she.  This month, we discussed medication, provigil being the one she thought would be okay to add to my millions of pills I am taking.  However, not being covered, it would be $50 a month.  I just do not have that.  I am wondering what other stimulants that I could try.  Only I have been too tired to try to Google that answer or even message the integrative medicine specialist (which would be far better than Dr. Google).

Exhaustion is par for the course for both dysautonomia and Sjögren's Syndrome.  Coupled together, what hope have I?  But, oh my, I am growing weary of my days.

Two more have passed where I woke, took Amos outside, walked on the treadmill, showered, and slept.  Then I got up, fed Amos, fed myself, and slept.  A little puttering and then back to bed.

To me, this is not much of a life.

And, in case you were wondering, hypersomnia is a poor companion to loneliness.  Sleeping so much makes me feel even more isolated.  I am so lonely it hurts.

I realized tonight, as I sat down to write this before bed, that the entire day has passed without a sound in the house save for Amos' periodic protestations of folk daring to walk in front of our house.  No television.  No music.  No phone calls.  Just a woman and her dog, snoozing life away.

The silence is truly deafening.

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