I should be in bed. I am tired enough to sleep all the way through tomorrow and on unto Monday morning. I should be in bed, but I am not.

I awoke quite shaky and wished that I could ignore the expired, failed inspection sticker posted conspicuously on the center of my windshield. However, I could not afford a ticket just now, so I got ready to take care of the matter. My limbs were trembling so much while I was doing so that I had to sit down several times. The bed was calling my name ever so loudly...

I had planned to just go ahead and charge the $16 I would have to pay to have the car re-inspected today instead of driving down to Woodbridge, but that plan changed when I opened the mail. In it, I found a forth notice from Toyota regarding a recall repair. Now, when I had driven to Woodbridge two and a half weeks ago, that service was supposed to be preformed. However, when I checked the paperwork, I discovered they had not done so. A bit perturbed, I called Toyota and asked if there was a time slot open for the re-inspection and the repair.

When I arrived, quite bothered because the trip took twice as long due to holiday traffic, I learned that the inspector had never even arrived this morning. I was so frustrated and so very angry and so very overwhelmed at the thought of driving all the way home, only to have to search for an inspection place and hunker down for the usually long wait that exist on Saturdays.

I finally arrived home several hours later. Exhausted.

My dearest friend B played a game of Scrabble with me, beating me mercilessly as she has lately and chatted on the phone while doing so. Still, her "virtual" visit was not enough to assuage my consternation and frustration over my day. I decided to turn to my most effective cure: organization.

One closet, the living area bookshelves, and the refrigerator later, I was beginning to feel better. I cleaned, cleared out, threw out, and organized my way to a more peaceful mindset, all the while laying down my frustration over and over again.

Sometimes, I despair at how difficult it is to lay down my burdens at the cross. I find myself clinging to them when all I want to do is be free. I couldn't be thankful that I actually accomplished my goal of returning my vehicle to a legal standing. I couldn't be thankful that I was able to make it through all the driving and all the waiting. I couldn't be thankful that I actually found an inspection center with an adequately air-conditioned waiting room. I just fixated on how difficult it was to take care of this, on how I didn't have anyone I could ask to do it for me, on how I stumbled and fell four different times because I am so weak today, on how frustrated I am that I awoke that way...need I go on? In short, equanimity is definitely NOT my middle name...oh, that it were!

At least my outlet for my frustrations is productive, eh?