I think I could lose it if only I had the energy.

While I was coughing quite violently during the appointment, all my doctor said was that I need to go back to the ER, that I should find another pulmonologist if she couldn't see me while I was in distress, and that she herself just couldn't help with the asthma more than the basic drugs.

She couldn't believe that the ER doc sent me home, and she told me to go back and insist on treatment or go to a third hospital.

Why do I need to insist? Why does this have to be so hard? Why does she see so clearly that my asthma is out of control and yet hospital staff treat me like I am just making myself sick on purpose? Cough Variant Asthma has been identified since 1979. I have more than a dozen articles that I have found in which I have learned more about my disease in the past two months than I have over the past six years. I feel like insisting that the staff who treat me stop and read some of them first!

I didn't go back to the ER. I am not sure what to do. I used the nebulizer, but am worried about the strain on my heart. I am exhausted and confused and scared.

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I did have an interview today. I had had a phone interview with the executive director of this association last Friday. It was a rather convivial conversation that left me quite hopeful. He cracked a few jokes and was genuinely interested in my ideas. However, today he had the deputy executive director sit in on the meeting. The other man had not read my cover letter, resume, or on-line portfolio. He didn't see me as anything other than a writer. The whole experience was disappointing. But every interview is a good one if only for the experience, eh?