Tuesday, June 12, 2007

My car failed inspection today...for tires that still had significant tread and had only been driven 34,000 miles. I could have just screamed. I was told that I had 14 days to get new tires and get it re-inspected.

I have my oil changed and the car inspected back at the dealer because it is free. However, I really, truly feel as if this was just a specious claim to get money. After all, new tires and labor would be $1,000 at the dealership. I declined their offer and drove to the Good Year dealership I have used before. The building was no longer there.

I drove around until I found an NTB and went inside to see what my options were. But by that time, I was so frustrated and so worried about money that the salesperson's words filled the air around me and weighted me down. In desperation, I called B and asked to speak with her husband. When G got on the phone, I begged him to listen to the options and make a decision for me. In a moment of pure grace poured down upon me from our Father above, G calmly listened to me, applied his thoughtful analysis, and told me what to do. He will probably never know how much that meant to me.

The hospital bill, though not my fault in its rejection, weighs heavily on my mind. I've had more medical expenses in co-pays and medicines than money I have earned this year. I have thousands and thousands of dollars in debt. And I can now add $621 in tires to that mound of financial strain.

I just need a break, just a moment when I can take a breath and not be confronted by yet another health struggle, another bill, another question with no answers.

God is sovereign even in this day. This I know to be true. While at Toyota, I was so cold in the waiting room, I could hardly stand it. Just when I thought I couldn't take it a moment more, this man who had seen me shivering while waiting for his own car to be repaired came back from his car and handed me a thick flannel shirt that was warmed by the day's heat. When I couldn't make a decision, when I could think through what I should do, God provided me someone who could. I know He is walking beside me. I know He is.

This I know. This I cherish. And yet I still long for a break...

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