I am honestly conflicted about this new television. I have immensely enjoyed the DVR features and the HD signals and the rather large new numbers of channels (though I seldom stray far from the HD ones) in my life. So much so that I feel a bit guilty. About what, I am not sure, but guilty nonetheless.

Perhaps it is the sheer pleasure it has been. Apart from the mishaps in getting it all set up, owning it has brightened my world. Yet it is only a possession.

I do appreciate the timing of it all. My vision has been so poor that I cannot read as much as I would wish to do so. Pain and fatigue have been such constant companions that my world has been reduced to a paltry existance on tucked into the corner of my couch or huddled in the green chair. So I very much welcomed the distraction this great big beautiful television has been.

However, it is only a possession.

Some months ago, B told me that she wanted to start her days reading the bible. With my eyes being less cooperative in the mornings and needed to brace against the agony that is sure to follow leaving my bed, I have worked at starting my days in prayer.

I breathe deeply for a few minutes and work to shut out all that I am feeling and worrying about to focus on Christ. Then, I pray for her and her family, for my family, for my boss, for Pastor D and his flock. For Somolia and the Congo. For this country. For His will.

I don't pray for myself apart from greater faith for I feel to do so would be selfish. I have done such a wretched job being His witness of late. I believe there is some lesson in all of this, if only the clay were to fall from my eyes.

So, is having an electronic companion in my foggy, lonely world merely a tool to help me set aside the less than pleasant aspects of my life or is it a possession whose inflated value might be too high a price in my life?

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NOTE: At least it brought me my new good friend Ed Begley, Jr. I would proffer that you should consider stepping up your recylings, changing all your lightbulbs to CFLs, investigate a grey water system if you have an irrigation system, check out centralized cut-off switches for your outlets, add a few solar panels or wind turbines should the opportunity fall your way, eshew both paper and plastic in favor of reusable grocery bags, and challenge yourself to take shorter showers. Reduce. Reuse/Repurpose. Recycle.