This day began with the worst asthma attack I have had outside the ER. It began about twelve hours ago, its violence startling me awake. Smothering in your sleep is frankly a horrible experience. Then breathing in drugs that leave you trembling from your innermost being outward just makes the whole experience worse.

I wanted desperately to go to the hospital, but I was foolishly ashamed that I had not showered when I should have the night before.

I risked my health because of shame, because I wanted to avoid being judged and found wanting in any way. That sounds silly. I get that. Still, I suffered at home.

Two doses of both inhalers. Two epipens. Three rounds of the nublizer with both medicines. Two cough pills (I am not supposed to take more than one at a time). I am still feeling shaky. I suspect that fire was more dangerous than I first thought.

But, wait, what have I to look forward to after such a dismal start to my day? NASCAR. A few spectacular crashes will surely put me to rights, eh?