wondering...

I awoke this morning, realizing that I had slept just over nine hours straight.  No getting up to go to the bathroom.  No rolling over.  No trying to find a better position.  No adjusting the pillows.  Nothing.  Just deep sleep.  So, I went downstairs, emailed my boss that I was staying home, and returned to bed.  I slept another four and a half hours just as dead to the world.  I have not slept this way since I before I was diagnosed with MS back in 1994.

I do not even know what to think of it.

One benefit that I noticed the second time I awoke was that I was blessedly free from the nausea.  Then I realized I had missed my morning medication.  So, I dutifully took my pills.  Over the past half-hour, the nausea has settled back over me like a cloak.

I long to go back to bed again, but in just a half hour or so, I need to venture out on the beltway to make my way to the cardiologist.  Her agenda is to hook me up to a halter cardiac monitor for a day or so to see if the new medication has raised my heart rate.  Mine...well...I would like to see if perhaps this medication is actually worth all this...or...am I just not being patient enough?

For me, time has never been my friend...if not an outright enemy, then a most uneasy companion.

So, I am wondering, if today will bring any sort of relief or any sort of answers...or if I will just be left waiting again.

Faith alone looks upon the promise.  

It knows that because of the promise, it is absolutely certain that God forgives, 

because Christ has not died in vain.  

[The Book of Concord, Apology, Article V, 27]

Lord, I am Yours.  Save me!